


By the Light of the Moon

by longhairshortfuse



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolf, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-01
Updated: 2015-08-01
Packaged: 2018-03-15 19:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 33,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3459221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos wants to capture a spiderwolf for study but gets bitten.<br/>The bite wound heals, but he experiences side effects including some very realistic dreams. <br/>As months pass, Carlos has to deal with a shift in his lifestyle that science can't yet explain, trouble deciding who are his enemies and his friends, and developing relationships with the spiderwolf, the scoutmaster and the local radio host.<br/>As he tells his colleague: Complicated? You have no idea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Spiderwolf

**Author's Note:**

> Started writing this ages ago, first couple of chapters need co-author credits for thesunisloud and psychosomatic86.  
> Picked it up again after a break. Hope it hangs together okay!

Carlos swore loudly to help bear the pain. It was science, the fabled effectiveness of foul language had been demonstrated on Mythbusters so it must be true. He gingerly removed his left hand from the fresh wound on his right arm, peeled back the fabric of his shirt and examined the puncture marks. Crimson oozed from the holes in his skin. Carlos swore again and covered the bite with his shirt, pressing through the pain to staunch the bleeding.

The creature, whatever it was, ran as soon as it tasted blood. Carlos was grateful for that. The strange animal he had been observing for a few nights, some kind of canine-arachnid hybrid Carlos would not believe possible anywhere with a less mutagenic environment, appeared calm enough and accustomed to Carlos’s presence as an observer, until he strayed too close. The attack was sudden and swift. The animal growled, snapped and ran.

Carlos couldn’t be sure, so he did not record in his dictated notes how the creature turned and grinned at him before loping off into the night.

Carlos packed his camp with difficulty and lugged his equipment back to the truck. Every contraction of his brachioradialis caused the clots on his puncture wounds to ease open again and the bleeding to start. By the time he climbed into the cabin of the truck his sleeve was soaked again over the dried brown bloodstains and his forearm was swelling, reddening and hot to touch. He drove carefully back to the lab and called for assistance to unpack the truck.

Rochelle was unimpressed.  
“Seriously, Carlos, you might think wildlife looks cute but you’re a townie. Wildlife is called that because it is wild. Were you trying to stroke a spiderwolf or something?”  
“No, I wanted a closer look at its eyes. Those extra ones, I mean. The two eyes looking forward from the orbits look normal although the tapetum lucidum is odd. I‘m used to orange or green, these reflected violet and make me wonder what range of wavelengths spiderwolf retinas can sense. That would make an excellent study if we can capture one. The eyes I wanted to see were the eight little black ones, you know, the ones that just show up like smooth, shiny clusters around its head.”  
Rochelle paused her task of cleaning Carlos’s wounded arm.  
“You… want… to… captureaSPIDERWOLF? Can you IMAGINE how that would have gone down at the town meeting? I can imagine that odd man's radio report... perfect beautiful Carlos plans to bring a wild animal into our midst without regard for safety and I fell right back out of love instantly...”  
“Well when you say it like that it sounds risky. Not even for science? And shut up by the way.”  
“Not even for science. They are dangerous, unpredictable and have I said wild? I’ll put dressings on those punctures but you should probably get some antibiotics. And a new shirt.”

Carlos thought the swelling and redness was lessened the following day so he did not bother going to see Teddy Williams at the Desert Flowers Arcade for medical attention. 

When it was too late, Carlos thought his inaction was a mistake.

\----------------------------------

_I owned the bright moonlight beside the canyon, looking out for others of my kind. We are not naturally social beings. I am used to being chased, to running scared and hiding my nature from the true-human world. And the world is increasingly human. There are few corners of the community I can wander openly without fear. The sand wastes are one of my places, only scouts ever come out here and by mutual respect we leave each other be. The scoutmaster sees to that. I wonder if he knows how appreciated he is._

_Last full moon I saw a human. A stranger… no I had seen him before, but not here. Not like this. In my present form I thought he behaved strangely for a true-human. He saw me and did not point, did not scream, did not run. He saw me, watched for several minutes as I prowled, and wrote in his notebook. I stopped and stared, allowed my senses to memorize his appearance properly, and his scent. It was intoxicating! I wanted more. I wanted him, I wanted him to know me, understand, and accept me for all that I am. I ran._

_I saw him again at the full moon two nights ago in the same location. I went there more in hope than in expectation, finding his lavender and spice trail and following it to his campsite. I circled at a distance, observing his movements under cover of shadows cast by clouds before the moon, confident that his human senses were inadequate to detect my presence. I sensed him approaching my position and crouched, lay in wait for him to find me._

_I did not have to wait long._

_I feigned calm although my heart raced and my chest heaved so much that I wanted to pant and run. I lay in the sand, waited until I knew he had seen me, his eyes wide and black in the silver light, his sight no match for mine. I saw the colors that surrounded him, betrayed his interest in me and I was flattered. I made my decision without more than cursory consideration for his welfare, selfishly wanting, needing, wishing for what I did not deserve._

_I rolled over in the sand, an invitation to approach in safety. I meant no harm, I meant to make him like me, I meant to make him capable of liking me. He came tentatively closer, small steps, checking my reaction each time he edged a few inches nearer. He called out to me, murmured beautiful creature and magnificent beast in a low voice he could hardly expect me to hear. I rolled back upright and crouched. As soon as I judged him to be within reach, I sprang up, bit hard enough to break skin on his arm but not deep enough to cause permanent damage and not hard enough to activate my venom sac fully, and ran off. I stopped once, looked back, buzzing with elation that I might soon have a companion. I licked my lips and smiled at him._

_He tasted of salt and earth and rain._


	2. Meet your Makers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos develops more side effects. One of them is an irrational fear of certain beings who do not exist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of this chapter, especially the part with Josie and Erika belongs to Psychosomatic86

The swelling went down quickly. After a week the only reminder of the spiderwolf attack was a set of scabs and a slight itch on Carlos’s forearm. His whole right arm felt weaker, Carlos struggled with grip in his hand and speculated his flexor and extensor muscles might have been damaged after he dropped his coffee mug for the fourth time. Rochelle suggested again he should visit Teddy Williams; he would need his grip strength back for their next bowling league game. 

Carlos said he could combine the two, bowl and consult the resident medic if he had problems with his technique. After the third consecutive bowl into the gutter, Carlos conceded that maybe Rochelle had a point. He went to find Teddy before he got voted off the team. 

Teddy was direct.

"Son, I can do nothin for ya. Ya gonna heal like normal, but there'll be complications. I coulda helped ya if ya'd come soon as, but's too late now. Ya gonna hafta take what's comin' to ya. Critter bit and run, y'say? Did ya get a good look at it?"

Carlos shook his head. He did not say the creature had glowing violet eyes because of light reflected for a second pass through its retinas by the _tapeta lucida_ behind. He neglected to describe the long two-tone fur and spiked mane. He certainly failed to comment on the creature's expression of complex intelligence.

"No, it was too dark. There was a full moon but there were clouds."  
"A full moon? Ya sure 'bout that?"  
"Yes, does it matter?" Teddy tapped his teeth with the end of a bevel knife. Carlos counted the clicks.  
"Might. Don't..." Teddy stopped and put his tools away.  
"Don't what?"  
"If ya notice side effects, best if ya don't mention it to anybody else."  
“What does that mean?” 

Teddy started a reply but his gaze shifted just above Carlos’ right shoulder and he immediately snapped his mouth shut. Carlos turned but there was nothing there. He tried to address Teddy again but the medic was all too engrossed in a patron and wouldn’t even spare a glance in the scientist’s direction.

“Fine.” Carlos retorted but his words fell on deaf ears. “Fine.” He repeated, turning to join his team. “I’ll figure this out on my own. I’m a scientist after all and-”

_“But now you are so much more.”_

Carlos froze, the voice trilling through every fibre of his being. He turned a quick circle but found no one in close enough proximity to have spoken in such intimate tones. Everyone was either crowded around the snack bar or the lanes and none of them showed any acknowledgement of the words just sung in resplendent clarity. 

There was a flickering just on the edge of his periphery but he was too focused on the words still resonating in his brain to take notice of it. He quickly shook the statement off and put it down to a side effect of the bite on his arm. This still did little to reassure but maybe he would have something more to go off of in pinpointing what was ailing him.

He quickly rejoined his team but remained alert just in case.

“So what did Teddy have to say?” Rochelle glanced up from the scoreboard.  
“What?” Carlos arrested his attention from the movements in the corner of his eye. “Oh, yeah, he-he said there’s nothing he can do...” His voice trailed as the flickering distracted him once again and he could just make out the shape of… something.

Rochelle’s agitated snapping brought him back and he blinked rapidly to clear the shape that most definitely wasn’t there. She was about to press him for further information but Dave suddenly plopped down, drinks clinking in his hands. “Here ya go.” He handed one to Rochelle and extended the other to Carlos. Carlos shook his head. “Aw c’mon, have some fun for once.”  
Carlos took the bottle but didn’t drink. Instead, he passed it nervously from hand to hand, testing the strength of his injured arm and still finding it useless as ever. 

_Don’t look. Don’t look. It’s not real._

Rochelle and Dave furrowed their eyebrows at his tentative movements before suggesting they get back to bowling. “We’ll need all the practice we can get before Josie gets here.” Dave pointed out. “I hear she’s pretty damn good. Her and her team, what are they called again?”  
“Mm.” Rochelle swallowed and Carlos heard the swish of liquid in her bottle a bit too clearly. “It was something weird-”

_Don’t say it. Don’t say it._

“-it was like-”

_Please. Please. They’re not real, they’re not real!_

“-Josie’s Angels?”

The flickering exploded into light and Carlos yelped as the voice trilled through his brain once more.

_“Yes, my child, we are, and we will help you.”_

Carlos’s drink shattered to the floor.  
“Whoa!” But Dave and Rochelle’s voices were lost to the one currently residing in every one of Carlos’ senses.

_“We know what you are. We know what you have become. We will help you.”_

“You’re not real.” Carlos whispered this into his hands as he cupped his face, pleading for it to be true. His eyes were shut tight but the angelic flickering did not subside.

_“You are not alone. There is another and he-”_

“ERIKA!”

The flickering doused and Carlos gingerly opened his eyes. The movement was gone but in its place a being of immeasurable power and beauty and terror pulsed in reverent light and Carlos wailed in terror. As he threw his arms over his eyes, he heard a loud THUNK, a yelp, and ornery chastisement from a familiar voice.

Carlos dared to lower his arms and groaned slightly as he let his injured one fall to rest on his knee.

The angel was no longer there but the flickering returned and it hummed adamantly just to the left of Josie. She was busy in conversation with the buzzing entity but Carlos did not watch. He dared not look even at the flickering and instead held his head in his stronger hand and deliberately did not ruminate on what he had heard.

“Erika, yer lookin’ fer a good beatin’ if you think yer gonna go ‘round scarin’ folks like that!”

Carlos desperately tried to ignore the angel’s reply but the voice was hard to dismiss.

_“He needs us, Josie. You cannot deny this. You know what he needs, you know what he is-”_

Dave and Rochelle had done a good job of ignoring the angel up until this point but their attention darted for just a second at that statement. Carlos peeked through his fingers just in time to see Josie bringing her cane down at the edge of his vision.  
“Back talk me one more time, Erika, jest you see what happens.” Carlos watched as the glowing entity seemed to shudders and shrink back. “Hmph, good,” Josie grunted as she hobbled over and sat at Carlos’ right. “Now make yerself useful and get me a drink, ya ain’t doin’ nothin’ helpful anyhow.”

 

\--------------------------

Carlos gradually regained the strength in his arm. By three weeks after The Scientists' disastrous bowling loss to Josie’s Angels and subsequent heated discussion of just who, exactly, should be off the team, Carlos lost the clumsiness caused by his poor proprioception and weakness and felt normal again. Carlos also noticed that his hair grew faster and even thicker than before, and not just on top of his head. His beard grew faster, his five-o'clock-shadow appearing by late lunchtime, the hair on his arms and legs and torso thickened without becoming coarse and when he wore his usual vee-neck under an unbuttoned shirt, soft black hairs with a sprinkle of silver showed over the neckline. Carlos tried to adjust his clothing, pulling his teeshirt neckline up and fastening his shirt, until he realised the futility of this action as his science team probably wouldn't notice. 

At least he could deal with the unruly mop on his head. There was a barber in town. Carlos asked Rochelle to look after the lab for an hour while he got his hair cut. It was a strange barber shop, with an old fashioned chair and no mirrors. The barber worked with a cutthroat razor and reduced the weight of Carlos's locks noticeably. Carlos left the barber shop feeling lighter and cooler with an unaccustomed breeze around his neck. He sauntered back into the lab smiling.

There was a crash as Rochelle dropped the beaker she had been holding and put both hands over her mouth.

"What?"

"Your hair!"

Rochelle took Carlos's arm and pulled him into the bathroom, kicking open the door with the sign _Little Scientists' Room._ She pushed him in front of the mirror. 

Carlos swore and fingered through what was left of his hair.

"Carlos, tell the truth, did you try to cut it yourself? Did Dave dare you?"

"No! Shit, Rochelle, what can I do with this?"

"Wait here."

Rochelle left the room. Carlos did not, embarrassment rooted him. Rochelle appeared a few minutes later with hair clippers.

"I'm not promising anything, the last haircut I gave was to a... well, non living and non human entity. But I can at least make it look less... less..."

"Awful?"

"Yeah."

Fifteen minutes later, Carlos emerged with his hair cropped close to his head at the back and sides, longer on top because he begged Rochelle not to shave it all to a uniform quarter inch.

Carlos stayed in the lab as much as possible for the next couple of weeks. Partly because of the bad haircut, which was growing out gratifyingly quickly, and partly because he gradually developed a lethargy, beginning with weakness in his right arm. He went out when he had to, for science, until his embarrassment paled. He spent spare time analysing his hair growth, carefully measuring strands and charting their growth. He examined the cross sectional shape of his follicles, tested the hair in quarter inch lengths for chemical contaminants, and found nothing unusual beyond a slight increase in radioactivity. This made him suspicious and he confided in no-one. 

Sensory phenomena snuck up on Carlos slowly. He became aware that he could tell which scientists were in the lab as soon as he walked in the door, by the scent that could never be fully masked by soaps and sprays. He still needed reading glasses for close work, but his distance vision improved and he discovered that he could walk around his apartment in the dark easily without risking a stubbed toe. His hearing improved more slowly, Carlos speculated privately that it started from a lower base level due to musical abuse that started on the birthday long ago when his parents bought him a Walkman.

The weakness and lethargy proved temporary. By the time Carlos felt recovered he also had excellent distance and night vision, better hearing than he had ever had and a sense of smell that left him embarrassed one day when Rochelle and Dave came back to work after a longer than usual lunch break. 

Carlos felt a restlessness at night. He associated it with another unexplained period of lethargy during which his colleagues teased him about the man on the radio. Carlos brushed their comments away.

"I am here for scientific reasons. I don't have time to concern myself with trivial issues like some radio host making fun of me. He will get bored and pick on someone else soon, he doesn't really like me. I am just being used for entertainment. It could have been any of us, whoever he saw first."  
Carlos admitted to his lethargy this time and asked Rochelle to take blood samples and test for any deficiencies. He was unsurprised that there were none. Nor was he suffering from radiation sickness, any virus they knew how to detect or autoimmune condition. Carlos sketched out a grid and marked a calendar. He shaded the days he remembered tiredness affecting his work and ticked the days he felt strong. He smiled as he listened to a tirade about the moon coming from the lab radio, playing a repeat of one of that odd man's... Cecil, wasn't that his name? A repeat of Cecil's show.

Something tugged at his brain. He looked up the lunar phase symbols in his pocket week-to-view diary and compared with his hand coloured calendar. Coincidence. Carlos convinced himself it must be. there was no scientific reason why he felt ill and lethargic during the days around the new moon and invincible at the full moon. 

\-------------

_I couldn't help it. I tried to stay away, it was dangerous to go near, but I wanted to see for myself. I walked home one day past Big Rico's. If the scientists emerged, I could politely say hello and explain that I was there for my mandatory weekly slice. I hung around at the corner of the street opposite the lab next to Big Rico's and watched for a while. The wind swirled sand around my feet and I longed to change, to run. Soon, I told myself. Patience._

_I saw the scientist who is Carlos's friend come out of the lab wearing a white lab coat. She stopped and looked up, another scientist was leaning out of the second floor window. He had something, it looked heavy, attached to a rope and a pulley system and two of them were lowering it down to the scientist below. HE came out! Carlos, perfect Carlos, with his hair all but shorn! He looked glorious nonetheless, I smiled as I saw how quickly his beautiful locks were growing back. He used his lovely voice to shout up, telling the other scientists to be careful._

_My heart thumped in my chest as I saw what happened next. The clumsy scientists upstairs let the rope slip. The one waiting below did not hear or see and stood oblivious, with a slight frown on her face. Carlos saw. Carlos reacted as I did, lunging forward. Carlos, being closer to the scene, got there in time. I stopped in the middle of the street and stared as he pushed his friend to safety, sprawled backwards on the paving stones and caught the falling object as it touched his ribcage._

_He lay and groaned. The other scientists came out and crowded around, lifting the object off the supine man. I edged closer in case I was needed, but when they stood back, Carlos got up, felt his chest and laughed. I heard him declare that he was fine._

_I retreated to my corner and slipped away. I had seen enough. Carlos had survived, he had caught a falling object that took four scientists to lift off him. I prayed that his strength was not completely human._

\------------

Carlos lay in bed, too hot under the sheet, restless. He thought back to that afternoon, catching the falling transformer that should have crushed him, detecting the warm scent of almonds and dust that seemed familiar yet exciting. The moonlight was bright even through his curtains and cast stark shadows around his bedroom. He closed his eyes, buried his face in the pillow, put on his favourite playlist, but nothing worked. He got up and dressed quickly, grabbed his keys and left the apartment. Carlos padded quietly down to his car, got in and drove.

He had no clear idea where to go, just somewhere away from town, away from people. Carlos pulled off the road and stopped the truck in the sand wastes close to where he had encountered the spiderwolf that bit him. He got out and started to walk. A few minutes later Carlos returned to the car, soaked with sweat and uncomfortable. He felt like his entire hide itched with heat. The cool desert night breeze invited him to strip and he piled his clothes on the drivers seat before turning to face the desert again.

Carlos walked and then ran for about two miles before he realised he was alert, attuned to the smells and sounds and sights of the desert at night. Half a mile further on, at the rim of the canyon, he realised he was naked, running alone in the desert at night and covering ground with a fast, efficient gait on all fours. 

He stopped. Carlos tried to stand on his feet but it felt unnatural and he sank back onto all fours. He examined what he thought of as his hands, marvelling at the new adaptations, the splayed, webbed toes with pads underneath for grip on sand, the curved claws for hooking prey and holding it immobile. He felt over his teeth with his tongue, feeling the sharpness of the pointed canines and scissor-like premolars for grabbing and cutting. Carlos raised his head. He could see clearly in a range of colours he could not have imagined. Instead of vision limited to the colours of objects in bright sunlight, he could see the glow around objects in the faint moonlight. 

Carlos the spiderwolf shook his head, hearing the scritching and scratching of small desert creatures that dared to scurry at night. His instincts told him there was nothing worth his attention there. He tasted the air, lowered his head to snuffle around the sand and rocks by his feet. He walked slowly, snuffling at the ground. There was something there, something that smelled interesting. He wove back and forth, side to side, sensing the position and direction of the scent trail. He shook himself and ran in the direction it led, along the lip of the canyon.

It was not long before Carlos saw the creature who had left the trail. Sitting in the shade of a tree was a spiderwolf with long two-tone fur and a spiky mane. Caros crouched ready to fight or flee. The other spiderwolf stepped out of the shadow and into Carlos’s night vision. It’s violet eyes were matched by a shimmering aura around it. Carlos shrank back but the creature rolled in the dust and turned its head away. Words entered Carlos’s brain and he walked over to meet his maker.

\--------------------------

_I sensed him before I saw him. I felt him approach along the canyon edge, following the fresh trail I had left just hours before. I thought back, pulled up indistinct memories of my first foray into the glorious wilderness, my first taste of freedom. My confusion and fear. I was alone then, I had no guidance on how to survive. I had to rely on a true-human, a true friend. But that is a story for another time._

_He found me as easily as I hoped, sitting under the moonlight-cast shadow of a joshua tree. He stopped a safe, wary distance from me and crouched instinctively ready to pounce or flee. I stared openly. He was as beautiful in this form as the other, with curly black fur and deep eyes so dark they looked black, reflecting amber back at me._

_He did not know me at first. He gave no hint of recognition, no surprise, I detected no emotion beyond a quiet nervousness and curiosity. I stood slowly, looking away with my two front-facing eyes but keeping him in clear focus with the others. His amber aura did not waver. I took two steps forward out of the shadow and he matched me with two steps back. I rolled over onto my back in a calculated display of submission. I could hardly have made myself appear less threatening! It worked, he approached close enough for us to greet each other properly._

_I spoke directly to him._  
 _“So... Um... do you come here often?”_

_How long I had planned this meeting. How many times I had rehearsed dialogue in my head, human or spiderwolf. And that was all I could think of to say. I groaned silently and rolled upright again so that I lay with my belly and chin on the sand and my front paws over my muzzle, eyes and ears closed as if against a sandstorm blowing over, waiting for ridicule._

_I felt him come close enough to touch. He dropped his head level with mine and tried to communicate. I saw a flash of his thoughts all piling up before he gained control._

_He wanted to explore, to learn how to hunt. I offered to teach him._

\--------------------------

Carlos quickly picked up the basics of spiderwolf communication. The vocal grunts and growls he could make were for warnings. The howl was for summoning others and only to be used in an emergency. He caught on quickly. Communication between spiderwolves was silent.

"A spiderwolf is self-reliant?"

"Yes, mostly we are solitary. We maintain a territory and rarely meet others of our kind. Few true-humans know we exist and it is better that way. There are stories started by ignorant scaremongering fools who think we kill humans and hunt us down."

"Oh. Am I in your territory? Should I find somewhere else?"

The spiderwolf glanced round at Carlos.

"No, unless you want to be solitary. I am willing to share."

"Is that why you bit me? You want to share?"

"You recognise me! Are you angry?"

"Perhaps. I should be. But this is... you are..."

Carlos stopped and looked at his companion then studied a rock at his side. The spiderwolf carried on a step and looked back.

"What?"

"I thought you were... think you are the most scientifically interesting creature I have ever seen."

The spiderwolf rolled over once and sprang into the air, landing a few feet away.  
"Want to hunt?"

Carlos did. He followed the spiderwolf farther along the canyon. He learned to creep and pounce, to leap as if from nowhere. He practised explosive speed from a standing start, sudden turns and stops. In return for half a night of demonstration and instruction, Carlos explained momentum, mechanical energy transfers, efficiency, power and how well adapted their form was to the demands of desert survival. 

Two hours later, Carlos was tired. The spiderwolf communicated sympathy.

"I have forgotten what it is like to be new. You will recover quickly when the sun rises and pay for it when the moon is hidden."

"No such thing as free energy."

"You could look at it that way. I will accompany you back to your truck.

"I can't drive like this!"

The spiderwolf panted, teeth showing. Carlos recognised laughter.

"Look up."

Carlos did. The moon was close to the horizon.

"Can you run?"

Carlos shook himself. The spiderwolf set off away from the canyon. Carlos followed. They reached the truck just as the moon began to dip below the horizon. 

"Thank you."

"Good morning, Carlos, will I see you again?"

"I would like that."

The spiderwolf hurtled off at full speed and was quickly lost from view. Carlos waited by his truck as the moon vanished. He stood up, opened the driver's door and slipped his clothes back on against the coming dawn. As he pulled up outside his apartment he frowned. He could not remember telling the spiderwolf his name.

As soon as Carlos got indoors, he pulled out a new notebook and started to record notes about his first night as a spiderwolf.


	3. Trial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos works out what he is. He meets the other spiderwolf again and they hunt. But are they killers?

Carlos woke up to blazing sunshine with stiff limbs and his notebook in his lap. It took him a moment to work out where he was. He got up, stretched and made coffee before hitting the shower, regretting falling asleep on the sofa again. He mused on the oddly realistic dream he half-remembered. Something about going to bed, getting up again, driving out to run in the desert, the spiderwolf that bit him, hunting drills. He laughed to himself and decided it would be better not to tell anyone in case they suggested he needed "garden leave" again. 

More coffee woke Carlos up fully. He dressed for work, picked up the notebook and tossed it under a sofa cushion out of sight before setting off for the lab. He frowned at the mileage display in the truck, remembering that it had been at a palindromic number when he parked. Carlos worked out that the truck had been driven an extra eleven miles overnight. Someone must have borrowed it, there were spare keys at the lab. 

Carlos felt alert despite a night on the sofa writing notes. He could tell as soon as he walked in that he was the first to arrive, the only sounds were the ever present mains hum and whatever lived in the walls scuttling around. Carlos checked in the office, the spare keys were exactly where they belonged on their hook in the key safe and the most recent signature in the register was his own. 

A day of science kept him busy and Carlos soon forgot his odd dream. He got home tired but satisfied with a good day of measuring, recording, hypothesising and confirming. Carlos pottered around his apartment, tidied up and remembered the notebook he had slung under the sofa cushions out of sight of the casual surveillance he knew they were under, the local police often lurked nearby. He closed the curtains and retrieved the notebook, wondering what he had found to write about.

Carlos sat down to read his notes. He picked up the notebook. He put the notebook down, wiped his hands on his jeans, shook his head and shoulders, stood up and paced the room and sat down again. He picked up the notebook one more time and stood up. He could read and walk. The restlessness in his legs broke his concentration. Carlos read. He threw the book across the room, ran both hands over his face and through his hair. He stood still as a statue with his hands on his head, his mouth open and his eyes flicking from side to side.

The feeling grew, faster than the previous night. He knew what he had to do. Carlos leaped over the sofa, picked up the notebook and stuffed it in a pocket. He packed a bag with a water bottle and some snacks and set off in the truck.

The spiderwolf was waiting by the joshua tree.

\-----------------------

_He remembered! I wasn't sure that he would. He came back as promised the next night as soon as the moon rose high against the void. I waited for him by the same tree, no need to lay a scent trail, he knew where to find me. I reached out to greet him and he approached to greet me nervously, keeping a short distance between us. I asked if he wanted to hunt and he said yes, but that he had questions. So many questions! I did my best to answer._

_We lounged in the moonlight. He asked what he could expect from the lunar cycle and I told him about the one or two nights like tonight when he could change fully and we could run together. I said that he might feel tired at the new moon when our senses dimmed. I told him a little about myself, all truth. I told him that I did not remember the spiderwolf who bit me. I told him there were two true-humans who would help us and one or two, like Teddy Williams, who were not hostile but not to be trusted completely. I warned him again that he should not show this side of his nature to anyone._

_He asked how I knew his name and I steered the discussion on to spiderwolf senses, especially our communication which feels so natural to me. I could see bursts of activity in Carlos's head, he broadcast thoughts of measurements and experiments and investigations. And capture. I shrank back a few paces._  
_"You would cage me?"_  
_"No," he replied, "I thought that the first time I saw you. I wanted to study you more closely than you would allow."_  
_"Because I am scientifically interesting?"_  
_"Yes. Your eyes are..."_  
_Here he lost me. His words were not all familiar and the meaning was obscured. I communicated my confusion vocally. He apologised._  
_"But you no longer wish to capture me for science?"_  
_"No, I wish to see you wild, free. As you are."_

_I sensed truth from him through his shyness. I could have taught him to shield his thoughts, screen what he let me see. I am ashamed to admit that I enjoyed the unwitting revelations of his emotions and intentions. I could see that he liked me, liked running with me in this form. I wondered if he liked my human form, but I was not ready to reveal myself and find out. I wanted to ask if I was of more than scientific interest but was not ready to know the answer. The beautiful beast had a test to pass before I could be open with him._  
_"It will be four weeks before we can meet again like this. You did well on your hunting drills last night, want to use them for real?"_  
_The hunger in his eyes was perfect. I hoped this would not simultaneously be his first and last hunt._

Carlos followed the spiderwolf south until he stopped and crouched in the sand. Carlos did the same, straining to see what they were stalking. The spiderwolf crept forward. Carlos copied its actions, still looking for their prey. The spiderwolf indicated with a look where the prey sat oblivious in the sand. There were four of them. Carlos crept backwards, turned and ran. The spiderwolf caught him easily and they rolled and flipped over one another, coming to rest face to face.

"You can't be serious. No, if that is what I am, if that is what I have to do then I will tell my team and they can lock me up or shoot me if I am a danger."  
Carlos was shaking, learning to raise barriers against emotions he did not want to share.  
"I had to know," countered the spiderwolf. "I had to know if you would do it."  
"They are children! People! How could you endanger them? What if I had attacked?"  
The spiderwolf paced back and forth as Carlos ranted.  
"I would not have let you. Earl was watching, he would have stopped you."  
"Who's Earl?"  
"A true-human who looks out for creatures like us. I am sorry, Carlos, I had to know if you were a spiderwolf like me or a spiderwolf like that."  
"This was a test?"  
"Yes."

Carlos turned and walked away quickly. He did not go far before he heard voices. Human voices. He swung his head from side to side to help his ears triangulate and saw the other spiderwolf sniff the air around them. They exchanged a glance, violet and amber, silently agreed a direction and ran.

_Carlos was upset with me. He blocked his emotions as much as he could but I could tell. I hoped he would think it over and understand why I asked Earl to help me set up a test of his character. I was reasonably sure of him, someone who is not a killer in one form is usually not a killer in the other form either but I know nothing of his history. As he stormed off we both detected a threat. We ran off to investigate together. On my own I might have run and hidden, but with Carlos I had to show confidence._

_Two men walked along the canyon edge. They drank beer, tossing empty bottles over the edge to smash on the rocks. One carried a shotgun, the other a rifle. I knew them, I encountered the same pair months ago, out looking for trouble, and only escaped because Earl was tracking me for practice with his scouts and he threatened them._

_They found trouble tonight._

_We, Carlos and I, crept within hearing distance but downwind. Carlos was furious, but no longer with me. I listened in. The men were discussing what to do with the scientists, planning an attack on their lab and discussing how to incite people to hound them out of town. I told Carlos to wait, to be cautious, but he was impatient. He crept much closer and I followed. He got within attack range. I hung back a little, expecting him to pounce and roar, make them shit their pants like the pathetic specimens they were._

**** _Inexperience, or maybe bravado, carried Carlos too close.The man with the shotgun stopped, silent, eyes searching for us amongst the creosote bush and rocks. His arm reached out to grasp at the shirt sleeve of the other and they stood staring into the scrub. We crouched, Carlos so close that even a sloppy hunter could not possibly miss him. I prayed to the glowcloud that they would shake their heads, laugh and move on. Shotgun pointed at a shape flattened to the ground, Rifle nodded and Shotgun raised his weapon._ **** 

_Carlos pounced silently and his jaws clamped hard around the throat of the man with the shotgun. I could see the muscle in his neck twitching, pumping the contents of his venom sacs into the man's blood. The other lifted his rifle and aimed but he did not expect there to be two of us. I pinned him to the ground and bit down hard on his neck. Both men were dead within a minute of our attack. I dragged the first corpse to the edge of the canyon and Carlos followed with the second. Together we pushed them over and watched them fall and roll down and out of sight. By the time they were found they would be nothing but bones. Life is rapidly recycled in the wilderness._

_I walked away from the canyon. Carlos did not follow and I turned back for him. He sat staring up at the moon in the void._  
_"Do people want us gone?"_  
_"They are better not knowing about us... oh. You mean your scientists." I thought for a few minutes. I had heard rumblings from drunks about interlopers but most people were convinced of the harmlessness of the latest additions to our community. I hoped I played a part in their acceptance. "No, people are curious about what you are doing but mostly they are too wrapped up in their own affairs to care much as long as you keep your heads down. Those two," I looked towards the canyon, "I have met them before. They will not be missed for long."_

_We walked back to Carlos's truck. He checked the position of the moon and faced me._  
_"We are the same? You change form soon?"_  
_"Yes."_  
_"Oh." He looked away then back again. "Do you need a ride anywhere?"_  
_My heart leapt. He had shown himself not to be an indiscriminate killer, to be loyal and protective of his friends, and to accept my duality. But I declined._  
_"My clothes and car are a couple of miles away. I had better run. Stay safe, stay secret until next month. Will I see you, will you remember?"_  
_He said yes and I loped away. I was almost out of range when he called after me that he didn't know my name._

Carlos changed and stretched, enjoying the free feeling of the desert night air on his bare skin for a moment longer before he dressed, scrabbled around inside the truck for a pencil and wrote in his notebook. Soon he started the engine and crept across the sand wastes to the road. A single car sped past as he rejoined the road and drove home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If Cecil the spiderwolf seems very out of character, it's because he is. The human version will be more recognisable when Carlos gets to meet him properly.
> 
> **** extra paragraph added for thesunisloud ****


	4. Fix me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos looks for a cure. He gets advice from a stranger instead.

Carlos fell into bed almost as soon as he tripped into his apartment. He stashed the notebook under the sofa cushions, undressed and collapsed exhausted, asleep within minutes. His alarm woke him four hours later and he bounced out of bed. By lunchtime, he was so engrossed in his science research that he had forgotten the previous night's adventures. 

Rochelle took the rest of the team to investigate a spate of power outages that may or may not have been linked to a persistent humming emanating from the Dog Park. Carlos, used to the buzz of the lab, turned on the radio for company. He sat back from his bench and listened, a small smile on his face, his lab book abandoned for the moment. He shook his head at his horoscope and laughed, "Today is your annual Crime Day. All Tauruses are exempt from laws today." 

Carlos jumped and returned his attention to his lab notes as the door banged behind Rochelle.   
"Hey, listening to The Voice of Night Vale? He seems to have given up talking about you. Like you said, ignore him and he'll stop."  
"Yeah, or perhaps my haircut really was that bad."  
Rochelle laughed and ruffled what remained. Carlos ducked.  
"It's growing back real quick."  
"Yeah, thank goodness. Uh, can I ask you a personal question?"  
Carlos waited for Rochelle to stop staring at him and answer.  
"You never ask personal questions! Okay, but I might refuse to answer and I don't have long, there's some bridge project going really wrong and I want to go out and see what's their problem."  
"Um, when you meet someone new, how do you know if.. oh nevermind."  
Rochelle snorted.  
"Oh Carlos, if you've met someone... Is it the radio-man? Please tell me, if it is then Dave owes me dinner."  
"Forget it. Just forget I said anything."  
Rochelle grinned and Carlos groaned.

Rochelle texted Carlos later to ask him to lock up because they were staying out to watch progress on the drawbridge, and to reassure him that she had no intention of discussing what he had told her. Carlos sighed and replied.   
_I have not told you anything. You assumed._  
 _....I can see the way your face changes when he's on._  
 _But I only met him a couple of times. It makes no sense._  
 _....Ha! I knew it. Ask him out._  
 _No. He's stopped talking about me._  
 _....Talk soon._  
 _OK_

Carlos locked up and went home. He followed his usual routine: changed into sweats, put the TV on, looked in the fridge, heated something in the microwave, sat on the sofa to have dinner and channel-surf. He fished around between the sofa cushions for the remote, surprised when he felt paper. Carlos lifted the cushion and found his notebook. He remembered having it, remembered hiding it. He put it aside and settled to eat and watch TV. 

He couldn't concentrate. Every few minutes Carlos's eyes flicked to the notebook instead of the screen, wondering what was written there instead of listening to the narrator. After thirty minutes of failing to watch a documentary about rock formations caused by wind and water erosion, Carlos clicked the TV off and picked up his notebook. 

He smiled as he scanned the part about how free it felt to run in the desert.  
His heart raced as he read about how exhilarating it felt to meet the spiderwolf again.  
He held his breath through his account of the spiderwolf suggesting they attack a group of scouts and his horror at the thought that he could do such a thing, his relief that it was a test and his anger at being tested.  
He shook as he read over the paragraph about the two men they had murdered. He read it again and again but the words would not change.  
Carlos grabbed his keys and left the apartment.

Teddy waved Carlos straight through into the consulting room behind his office.   
"Gotta problem I betcha."  
"Yeah, Teddy, how to I stop it?"  
"I told ya, it's too late for ya. I gotta remedy, anti-venom, but ya gotta get it real fast. Been, what, coupla months? Shoulda been here right away. Coulda done somethin' then."  
"About that, yeah. Can I be cured? If not, there must be some kind of treatment. I mean, I need to control this... thing that happens."  
"Whatcha done?"  
Carlos felt nauseous. Strength drained from him. "Nothing! No, nothing. Nothing."  
Teddy scowled at Carlos. "Ya sure? I'm okay with ya as long as ya ain't a threat. Otherwise ya got no place here. Could try stayin' outa sighta moonlight."  
"Okay. Um, thanks anyway Teddy."

Carlos headed for the exit staring straight ahead, meeting nobody's eyes, ignoring the unsettling flickering coming from one of the lanes. He fixed his eyes on the door but stopped short. He sensed something, a warm scent of desert air and... he sniffed carefully without moving his head. Was that some kind of earthy, beechsmoke, almond-y undertone? It was so familiar but he couldn't place it. He inhaled deeply, eyes closed, shook himself back into reality and went out into the night. Carlos went home. He held the notebook in both hands, twisted it as if he was going to tear it in two then stopped. He hid the notebook at the back of a drawer.

\----------

Carlos lay awake all night. Next day he dropped glassware, forgot calculations halfway through making up solutions, set water baths to the wrong temperatures and by lunchtime Rochelle sent him away. Carlos paced his apartment. A double rap at the door brought him to a standstill. He stepped over to the window and looked out. It was not the police. 

Carlos opened the door and peered out. A man looked at him.   
"Can I come in? We need to talk."  
"What about? Who are you?"  
"I'm a friend of... My name is Harlan. I saw you a couple of nights ago..."  
Carlos opened the door, pulled the man inside and closed the door again, pulled him through to the kitchen.  
"I've heard your name, I don't know where. Are you..."  
Carlos gestured as he tried to find the right words.  
"I'm the scoutmaster. There was a test, if you had tried to attack my boys I would have killed you."   
Carlos sat heavily on a kitchen chair. Harlan stood.  
"You probably don't remember much. You're new. I told him not to, you know, until he knew you better, but he's impulsive like that."

Carlos gestured at the man and he sat. He grinned at Carlos.  
"So have you worked it out? Do you know what you are?"  
"I'm a killer."  
Harlan sighed.  
"Yeah, he told me about that. Don't worry, there's nothing left at the canyon. I moved the remains to somewhere the sand-bears would find them and took my troop on a march to obliterate their trail. You won't get caught. There's no real news in two assholes mauled by wild animals during inadvisably drunken midnight hunting trip."  
"That's not the point! I did it, I even wrote about it afterwards. That's how I know. I didn't remember, then I read my notes and it all felt so horribly, sickeningly familiar."  
"You have a notebook? Can I see it?"

Carlos stared at Harlan for a moment then went to get the notebook. Harlan scanned it with his eyes, fanned out the pages and set it on fire with the gas hob before Carlos could stop him, dropped it onto the hob surface and turned on the extractor fan.  
"I needed those!"  
"No. You need a survival instinct. He sent me to make sure you were okay and you are not okay, are you?" Carlos looked away, looked down. "Do you know what you are?"  
"Yes! I think so. I went to see Teddy at the arcade but..."  
"He won't help. Don't go back to him and don't tell him anything or he will organise his vigilante group against you. And against... I won't let you harm my friend."  
Carlos looked up at Harlan.  
"Who. Who is he? The other... The one who bit me?"  
Harlan sighed then smiled.  
"He'll tell you when he trusts you. Don't hold your breath."

Harlan stood.  
"Umm..."  
"What?"  
"Next time, next full moon, would it work if I stay out of the moonlight?"  
"Is that what Williams told you? He should stick to bandages and bowling. No. It's not contact with the light that does it. He tried that at first too. You're a scientist, why don't you investigate?"  
"Oh. Umm..."  
"What?"  
"Would it work if I locked myself up?"  
"What, in here? No. You would let yourself out because you could. It's your nature. You felt a strong pull to the desert night, didn't you? To him? Could you have decided _no I think I'll stay home tonight?"_  
"What if I got someone else to lock me up?"  
"You can't tell anyone else."  
"Someone who already knows?"  
"Teddy would shoot you if you told him you killed someone. That leaves me and him. He'll be out enjoying a taste of freedom and I will be keeping watch. Again, no. Besides, he likes your company though I can't see... Look, I have to go. Don't mention my visit."

It took Carlos a few days but he distanced himself from the events he recorded in the notebook Harlan had destroyed. He returned to work and ploughed himself into his investigations. Officially he studied the effects of differential flow of time in separate parts of town. Unofficially, he researched local fauna and folklore. Everyone he asked gave him the same advice in hushed tones, implored him to say nothing. 

On bowling night, The Scientists were drawn against The Interns and were outclassed in every way. Carlos scowled at losing to a bunch of giggling teenagers but admitted they had played well and shook hands afterwards, frowning at the one who nodded and said, "Oh so _you're_ the lovely Carlos? Cecil couldn't be here because of his show but I can totally see why..." before being shushed and hauled away to change shoes. 

Carlos sat in the bar area to wait for the other scientists, drinks ready to drown their sorrow at losing. A shimmering in the corner of his eye and growing unease alerted him that he was no longer alone. Josie plopped down onto a chair beside him.

"You bin askin' a whole lotta questions."  
Carlos kept his head down, eyes averted from the shimmering around the old woman.  
"Technically I've been asking one question, but I asked a lot of people."  
"You wanna know folklore and legends."  
"Yes."  
Josie nodded and looked around before leaning in and hissing, "stop asking, stop reminding folks what they came from. You're not one of us. You got no idea of our history."  
Carlos looked up into her face, noting concern rather than the anger he thought he heard in her voice.  
"Then you tell me."  
She sat back and shrugged.  
"Listen to the radio much? Know where I live? Come round later if you can stand it. They won't hurt you if you don't give 'em reason to."  
Carlos nodded and looked around. The shimmering figures receded and Josie followed them out.

After beer with the team, Carlos went home and turned on the radio. Cecil's show started and he found himself smiling at tall tales of how the town was founded. At the end of the show, he pocketed his keys and left the apartment. He walked to Josie's house but waited across the road until he saw the door open and a tall figure that hurt his head when he tried to focus waved at him. Carlos averted his eyes and crossed the street to Josie's door. She yelled at Carlos to come in and close the door.

"Siddown, Erika ain't gon' bite."  
Carlos kept his eyes on the floor and sat down carefully on the chair opposite Josie.  
"Ask. Don't mind Erika."  
Carlos tried to look at Josie but closed his eyes until he heard her order Erika to leave the room.   
"Tell me about local folklore. Not... not what Cecil said in his show, I want to know about..."  
"You want to know about spiderwolves. Want me to tell y'a story everybody hereabouts knows an' nobody tells?"  
"Please."  
Josie smiled at Carlos and sat back. Carlos leaned forward and listened.


	5. History Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Josie tells a story.

Josie dismissed Erika, demanding tea, peace and quiet. Carlos cowered when his mug set down in front of him, but nodded his thanks at the shimmering space as it receded. Carlos did his best not to interrupt Josie after the first time when he got a glare for his rudeness and the second time when her mug banged on the table hard enough for Carlos to want to check if it was cracked.

Carlos pondered Josie's story as he went home. He dug out a new notebook and a precious pen from his dwindling collection of biros and wrote down as much as he could remember.

Long before settlers arrived the region had been home to a group of nomadic tribes who wandered the desert. Spiderwolves were their companions and protectors. Each tribe, loosely tied by blood obligation to the others, had one or two spiderwolves who offered their services as defence against sand-bears and other dangers in exchange for a share of the hunt. Some said spiderwolves were funeral beasts also, dealing with the inevitable results of the harsh desert lifestyle. 

Over thousands of years, the bonds between each tribe and its spiderwolves became closer. Spiderwolves bred rarely and would only raise a single pup at a time. Sometimes, instead of leaving the weaker pup behind, a spiderwolf would raise twins until they were weaned and take one into camp at night and leave it by the tent of the newest member of the tribe. Custom dictated that the child and the spiderwolf were somehow siblings, and both were to be protected and cherished.

Often the spiderwolf and the child would grow up together, learn to communicate without words and become tribal leaders. Sometimes the child and the spiderwolf would go out one day, vanish into the desert and not return. Stories grew about children and spiderwolves who soul-merged into one body, devoured the other and could change form at will from that point onwards. 

Whatever the eventual fate of the humans and their guardian spiderwolves, the creatures were treated with respect bordering on worship. Settlers changed that.

The first group of settlers were easily frightened away and moved on. The second attempt to settle the area failed when drought shrivelled their crops. The third wave of settlers were made of more stubborn material, a trait that survives in the true, full-blooded Night Valean to this day.

The spiderwolves were mistaken for monsters, hunted and destroyed. The few who survived either hid deep in the desert in spiderwolf form and became fully spiderwolf or became locked in human form and tried to fit into town life. Eventually they lost the ability to change form at will. Rarely, someone born human would change in response to some stimulus or other, perhaps fear or a full moon, but usually they were captured and vanished and nobody spoke of them again. There were reports of humans being chosen with a bite, but nobody took those stories seriously. 

Almost nobody.

He learned that as long as he did not tell anybody else, the only people in town who knew for sure about the existence of spiderwolves were Earl Harlan, Josie, Teddy Williams, himself and _him._

Whoever he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK that's as far as I got before abandoning this due to.. stuff.


	6. Show and Tell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cecil decides, against Earl's advice, to show Carlos who he is. But is Carlos ready?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm picking this up again after quite a break. Hope the style isn't too different from previous chapters.

Carlos felt drained. He almost dozed in his seat and might have fallen asleep if he could have kept his balance. His right arm throbbed around the injury and his limbs weighed him down. Rochelle lacked sympathy.  
"Hey, sleepy, late night? Hangover?" Rochelle punched his shoulder and he drew in a hiss of breath, straightening and glaring at her. "Sorry, you okay? You look like shit."  
"Just tired. I slept all night but it was real hard to get out of bed. Has someone turned up the gravity?"  
Rochelle laughed. "Want one of the nicer jobs today? Some locals called in about lights they saw out at Radon Canyon. Want to go take a look? Fresh air and exercise might help."  
Carlos nodded, grateful. "Yeah. I'd rather be outdoors. You and Dave hold the fort?"  
Rochelle nodded. "No problem boss. Remember your danger-meter and dosimeter. Don't hang around there too long."

Carlos hoisted his equipment crate into the passenger seat on the second attempt and swung up into the driver's seat. During the short drive he wondered if he was safe, his reactions felt dull and his distance vision blurred. He parked just off road and tried to focus on the spines on a nearby barrel cactus but his head hurt with the effort. He raised his head but even his sense of smell was poor compared to what he thought it should be. He announced to the desert, "Ugh, feels like I caught a cold."

There was nothing to see at Radon Canyon. Carlos walked along the edge, looking over into the deep fissure, wondering how long it took for the meagre creek below to carve out such a geologically impressive feature. He kept walking, no longer bothering to look for signs of strange light sources, enjoying the feeling of freedom. Carlos didn't know why he felt like running, leaving clothes in a heap and feeling air on his limbs. He resisted, serious scientists do not run nude in the desert. The thought made him giggle. Carlos stopped, shook his head at his strange behaviour and turned away from the canyon rim. He stood, frowning and then smiling, grinning wide and laughing at the sight of a lone joshua tree. He snapped a photo of it, strolled over, lay in its shade and slept. 

Carlos woke because he was hungry. His first thought was to hunt but he shook off the idea with the sand that clung to his hair and remembered it for about as long as it took for the grains to fall to the ground. He sat, knelt, yawned and stretched and scratched and pushed himself upright. His phone told him about forty minutes elapsed since he photographed the tree. With reluctance, Carlos walked back the way he had come and drove home to shower and change. He texted Rochelle, _nothing to see at the canyon._

Earl smiled and put his binoculars away. He slid down the side of the rocky outcrop he had stationed himself at and texted, _He remembers._

\----------

_I could hardly believe it! He was here, Carlos came to see me! The intern must have guessed something from the yelp I gave and the grin that probably plastered my face when they said, "There's a scientist in reception."_

_It was all I could do to hold myself back. I bounded along the corridor but slowed as I neared the entrance. I stopped by the staff-only door and waited until I was calm. I opened the door, stepped through and there he was._

_I knew he wouldn't recognise me in this form yet but I was still disappointed. Earl's text gave me hope that his transformation would be rapid but I saw that I would have to be patient. I am not a patient creature. I know I am impulsive, Earl has told me so many times. I wanted to grin, to laugh and play-pounce at him. Instead I steadied my breathing, extended my right arm and said, "How nice to see you! Is this visit for personal or scientific reasons?"_

\-------------

"I called by for scientific reasons." Carlos explained. The radio presenter's face fell but he recovered quickly.  
"Oh! Umm, come to my studio. Do you need to test for materials again? Because you totally can if you want." Cecil held the door. Carlos did not step forwards. "Coming?" Cecil smiled.  
Carlos nodded and followed the strange man from the radio show. He did not know why he felt so unsettled. He had been here before on his first day, taken some readings, panicked about the levels of radioactivity and fled. This time, his nervousness felt different. He knew the levels of radioactivity were higher than average but his dosimeter would keep track of his exposure. He knew the materials used were unconventional, _what even is a bloodstone? hematite?_ But this was a scientifically interesting change in his mood. There was something familiar, a hint of a scent or maybe just a memory of his previous visit. He kept his eyes fixed on the radio man's back. 

Carlos followed Cecil along the narrow corridor and into a small booth. Cecil chatted as he walked and laughed, "Welcome... to my world! Oh I know you have been here before but still, I want to welcome you properly. Sit if you like." Cecil sat on one fabric swivel chair and pointed to another. Carlos sat. "So what can I do for you today, mister scientist?"  
Carlos couldn't help smiling at the exuberant radio host. "It's Professor Scientist, but you can call me Carlos. I only came to ask for information. I want to find out what the lights were out at Radon Canyon. Some people called us and--"  
"And I will ask my listeners if they heard anything! When they call in I can call and tell you what they said!" Cecil enthused. "Neat! I will need your number. You have mine, if you call and let it ring a couple times, I can save yours."  
Carlos took out his phone and called Cecil's mobile number, ending the call when Cecil's phone rang. Cecil fiddled with his phone for a few seconds and Carlos felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, the ringtone he assigned to Cecil blaring out. He clicked it off and stared at the desk beside him. Cecil laughed.  
"Neat! Radioactive!"  
Carlos smiled. "It is a scientifically accurate ringtone. You are active on the radio." He looked up into Cecil's eyes, wondering if the heat in his face was visible.  
Cecil smiled wider. "You listen to my show?"  
Carlos looked away again. "I hear it in the lab sometimes. My colleagues like to have the radio on."  
Cecil replied, "oh," as if stating a fact.  
"So, about Radon Canyon. I went out there this morning to look but I didn't see anything. Maybe someone else did and can, ha, shed light on the matter." Carlos stood. "I have to go. You know, science. I bet you're real busy too. Thanks for making time for me, not that it's possible to make time, exactly, but... well. Goodbye, Cecil."

\--------

_When he said my name, when he pronounced those two syllables, I thought I would burst. He was difficult to read in this form. I sensed nervousness, discomfort, as if he wished himself elsewhere. I detected the scent of the desert from him. Faint since my senses were blunt, but there. I knew he had been out to our meeting place and I ached to tell him. But Earl's warnings stopped me. No, he said, let your new pet come to you. Tell him only when he has already guessed and still come back to you._

_But I could drop some hints on my show, right?_

_I escorted him out of the building, right out as far as the street. He seemed calmer with sky above. We shook hands, smiled at each other and I watched from the door as he walked away. He turned at the corner, waved once and was gone. I should have asked him to stay for an interview. I wanted to ask him to stay._

\------------

Carlos felt his lethargy lift after a couple of days. Rochelle teased him.  
"Heard you went to the radio station. You didn't mention it. I wonder why?" She grinned at Carlos, planted her elbows on the bench-top opposite him and stared openly.  
Carlos smiled. "It wasn't important. I needed information, gave Cecil my number and he asked his listeners about the lights for me. You heard his show so there was no need for me to say anything more."  
"You went to the radio station to give Cecil your number? Did he call you? Did you ask him out?"  
"Ugh. Rochelle, yes but for scientific reasons, no, no, and shut up."  
Rochelle gave Carlos ten seconds of silence then added, "Dave said one of the interns saw you walk along the corridor behind Cecil, said you were staring at his ass the whole time."  
Carlos thumped a flask down on the bench-top so hard the glass cracked. "Rochelle! Trying to work here!"

\-------

_Time passes so slowly when you are waiting for something! I ran, as usual, with Earl to watch over me. I have been able to change without the help of reflected light for some time but he will not be able yet. It is a challenging transformation but always worth it. Of course I knew the stories well, tall tales for small children, about the spiderwolves who changed too often and couldn't change back. They are just stories, but Earl says I should be careful anyway. Stories all come from somewhere._

_I ran most nights. Not all, the day Carlos came to visit I was tired. The dark is a dangerous place for us, bringing curbed strength and poor judgement. It is unfair on Earl too. He never says it but I can sense his fatigue like I can sense the weakest member of a herd. On nights when I have expected too much from him, I let him sleep with his head on my side and his arm thrown around my neck. We are like brothers. His mother cared for me when my own could not and he has always known who I am._

_I visited our meeting place. His scent lingered even after two days, I lay where he had been, inhaled the faint reminder of his rest. Earl sat with his back against the tree and laughed at me. In revenge I stood and shook, sending a shower of sand particles over him. He yelled and laughed and threatened me with a leash._

_On the night when I felt the pull so strong that I struggled to remain human enough to operate my car, I drove out at dusk, parked and hit the ground on all fours. Surely tonight, tonight he would be there. Tonight I would tell him._

\--------------

Carlos felt it even before the sun went down. It was almost two weeks since the day he fell asleep under a tree and had strange dreams he could not quite remember. The urge to be out under the open sky with only the horizon as boundary to his world pulled at him. He paced the lab, collecting instruments and a water bottle. He called to Dave to take a blood sample and store it safely for him, growled at the sting in his arm then loaded the truck and drove off. As soon as he parked, Carlos leapt out, stripped and began taking measurements, recording in a notebook small enough to hide.

Carlos let the pull take him. There was enough daylight left for him to repeat as many tests as his anatomy allowed but he could not record. He lamented his lack of foresight in not asking Rochelle to observe, but thoughts of the other spiderwolf's safety, his nameless maker, stopped him from taking his careless thought into potentially disastrous action.

The other spiderwolf. The thought of him pushed all else from Carlos's mind and he thundered off towards the canyon. There was a trail, fresh enough though perhaps not today's. Carlos followed it, head down to absorb the scent, head up in wary observation, leaving his own trail alongside. Any spiderwolf following would know. There are two of us and we are together. This canyon is ours.

Carlos soon reached the joshua tree. The shadow under it was only that.

\-------

_I ran for joy. I would come out tonight, I would show him my human form and we would be together. He would be unable to change until moonset but he would know me. I would change into my human form and change back in front of him then we would laugh about it and play-fight and hunt until he was tired. We would sleep hidden by the rocks and creosote bushes of Earl's outcrop, the lookout post he would not be at tonight, and he would let me groom him. We would change together into human form and walk back to his truck, he would offer me a ride to my car abandoned out of sight of the road and I would invite him to talk, to get to know my human form. All the thoughts in my head crowding for space, making me play-hunt quail and shadows. I thought I would sing my love for him._

_Nature pulls left and fate pulls right._

\-------

Carlos waited, occasionally venturing out, exploring, searching for a fresher trail than the one he followed to the tree. He went as far as the outcrop and recognised Earl's scent, earthy, old and almost faded to nothing, mingled with the exciting scent he hoped to find. He yapped a laugh, no wonder the scoutmaster knew so much. 

A howl yanked his ears upright. He leapt up, discovered he could climb and stood atop the outcrop. The howl came again, longer this time, long enough for Carlos to identify its origin. He leapt down and raced into the sand wastes, head low, ears flat, muzzle pointing forward, muscles working and paws splayed for traction. He was there in minutes.

The other spiderwolf stood over a large man lying prone. Their eyes met. Carlos backed away and showed his alarm. The spiderwolf shook once.

"Is he--?"  
"No! He's breathing. This was not all my doing."

Carlos approached. The man smelled familiar, sweat and tobacco and alcohol. "I have met this man before. Who is he? Can we turn him over?" Carlos felt for injury with careful paws but found none. He looked at his companion. "What was he doing out here?"  
"I don't know. I saw him attack a cactus and fall over. I called for you," the spiderwolf smiled, "and you came! We should take him someplace safer than this."

Carlos sat. "Back to town. My truck isn't far, if we help each other we could drag him there and when I'm able I will drive him to hospital." The spiderwolf communicated agreement. Carlos walked around the man, gave instructions on where to apply force to turn the man over and soon they saw his face. Carlos yipped and jumped.  
"It's the barber! He gave me a terrible haircut. The one the man on the radio was so mean about."  
"O-oh? You think he ran out here after that?"  
"Maybe, the radio man was pretty hard on him. It was just a haircut. It's growing back real quick."  
"Mmhmmhmm I noticed." Carlos stared at the spiderwolf.  
"You noticed." Carlos communicated a spike of distrust. "You know who I am. You chose me, you have the scoutmaster spying on me and I know nothing about you."  
"I want to tell you, I was going to show you who I am tonight, although Earl says it's too soon, I should wait and let you figure it out. We have a more important matter to deal with. Take an arm each, careful not to bite? Ugh, I hate Telly the barber!"  
The spiderwolf clasped Telly's left forearm. Carlos didn't move. "Tell me. You said you want to, so tell me, show me."  
"Not like this. I want... It has to be... Ugh, please, can we move him to safety?"

Carlos relented, took Telly's other arm and the pair of spiderwolves half-lifted, half-dragged the barber carefully to the side of Carlos's truck. It took hours. They rested for a few minutes. By the time Telly was safely hauled up into the back of the truck, the moon was low in the sky and Carlos felt its influence wane. He looked at his companion.  
"Stay, change form here with me, I will drive you wherever you need to be." The spiderwolf communicated a fog of indecision. "Please, I want to see who you really are."  
The spiderwolf snapped. "You do see who I really am! Do you think I am a spiderwolf who becomes a man? Do you consider yourself a human who changes into this? Do you not see how we are so much more than that? Different from either human or spiderwolf? No! Not today, Carlos. Earl was right, it is too soon."

Carlos cursed to himself as the spiderwolf sprinted away. Not because he still did not know the human name of his companion, but because of the lightning strike of hurt he let through before shutting down that part of his communication. Carlos followed but could not keep up. He quit the chase when he realised he was in danger of finding himself miles from his truck, naked in the desert. He drove Telly to hospital, stayed to see him admitted and went home.

\----------

_I drove straight to Earl's, crept in and lay on his sofa. He woke me at seven with breakfast of coffee and I-told-you-so. I felt like crying because I almost made a mistake. Carlos does not yet know what he is, and that is something he must find out for himself._


	7. What's in a name?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carlos has a meltdown.

Carlos woke energised. He showered and dressed, made coffee and drank it while he read his notes from the previous night. His new abilities appeared to break a few laws of biology as he understood it but physics remained merely bruised. Perhaps his blood sample from when he felt pulled would shed light on his biochemistry. His mass was slightly less after the change, perhaps due to fluid loss, perhaps to compensate for the energy used in changing his anatomy. He finished his coffee, grabbed his keys and opened the front door, dropping his keys again in surprise.

Earl walked in.  
"Good timing, Carlos. How are you this morning? Good?"  
Carlos frowned. "I can't invite you in, I have to go to work now. Can this wait?"  
The scoutmaster shook his head. "No, I won't have time later before the moon is up and you get the chance to hurt him again. Sit down."  
Carlos sat. He did not remember his words from last night but he did remember the anguish and disappointment the spiderwolf communicated before bolting. "Oh. That. I guess I said something. Whatever it was, I regret it. I did not mean to hurt him."  
"Yet you did. Why were you upset with him?"  
"I wish I knew. I wish I knew more. I mean... it's just... " Carlos stopped and shrugged at Earl. "Can I trust you?"  
"Not promising anything. He's my priority, not you."

"That's just it! He's got you looking out for him. He's got me counting the minutes until I can see him again. He knows what he is and he's used to it, he loves it. I'm so new to this, I can't tell anyone, I can't talk about it and I know nothing. Am I human? Spiderwolf? Something in-between? Something else I've never even heard of? I am a scientist. I am used to making measurements and observations and figuring things out by thinking about them."  
Carlos got up to pace the floor. "I have no idea who I am any more. Sure, look at me, I'm Carlos the Scientist. Here's my lab-coat and my danger meter. Obvious I'm a scientist, right? Or a few hours ago, Look. I'm Carlos the spiderwolf dragging an unconscious man across the sand wastes. See my fur and my fangs and my claws? Sure, obvious I'm not a scientist. Scientists don't grow webbed paws, barbed tails, venom sacs and run naked across moonlit deserts. Who can I go to if I need help figuring things out? You've made it clear you don't like me, you disapprove of what he did. Fine, honestly? So do I when I stop and think. So I can't go to you for advice. I can't go to Teddy Williams. I can't go to _him_ because I don't know who he is. And I hate not knowing who I am."

Carlos continued to pace the floor, left hand combing through his hair, gripping handfuls and letting go while his right drew spirals and curves in the air. Earl sighed, stood and put a hand out to touch Carlos's arm.  
"I can see why he likes you. Okay, there is one person you can talk to. Just one. I'll tell Josie to expect you this afternoon. She will be at the bowling alley so be careful not to run your mouth off like this again."  
Carlos nodded. He took a few deep breaths. "Will you tell him for me?"  
"Tell him what? His protégé had a meltdown?"  
"That I'm sorry. I don't know if I will remember what I did or said, so I can't guarantee not to do it again, but I'm sorry."  
Earl smiled as he headed for the door. "I'll tell him. Your memory will probably adapt. He... he suffered memory gaps for a while but he got over it eventually."

Carlos followed, rubbing his face and neck. "I have to go do science. Figure this out."  
Earl shrugged. "Sure, you do that. Good luck. Remember, this afternoon, bowling alley, Josie."

Carlos lost himself in calculations based on his measurements and carrying out a spectrum of blood tests on the sample from the previous day. Everything looked normal. He wondered about DNA analysis but that was Dave's project and he would have to answer too many questions about why he wanted his genetic material scrutinised.

Late in the afternoon, Carlos announced he was finishing a little early and left before anyone asked why. The car park of the bowling alley was busy with the after school crowd and he almost turned back. Josie was waiting for him. She knocked on his passenger door and got in.  
"Almost given up on ya and that'd be a shame. Since ya nervous around Erika, Ah reckoned you an' Ah'd take a drive someplace quiet. Ya know where ya goin'."  
Carlos aimed out along the highway, turned off for Radon Canyon and parked off road. His spot. He killed the engine and twisted in his seat.  
"Miss..."  
"Josie. Just Josie. Some call me Old Woman Josie but we ain't such good friends yet. Ah'll call ya Carlos, bein' yer name an' all."  
Carlos nodded. "Josie, who am I?"  
Josie tutted. "Yer Carlos, hun."  
Carlos scowled. "I need a better answer."  
"Only you can answer that one. Ask a better question, one Ah can answer."  
"Okay. Uh. How did he become what he is?"

Josie brightened. "The poor soul, thinks he got bit by a spiderwolf that abandoned him because he don't remember having a maker. But it ain't true. It's just how he is, hun. He was born, you were made. Makes no difference, 'cept yer older and feel it more."  
"Feel what more?"  
"The changes, the pull. When he was just a li'l bit he'd change in 'is sleep, yap all night and wake everybody up without even knowing about it. As he got older he'd wake and go out. Oh he got into so much trouble! He'd sneak out to meet Earl and they'd pretend he was Earl's pet if anyone saw them. Earl's folks put a stop to that, when he moved in with them after... well. They took the boys camping somewhere out here where they'd be safe."  
Carlos stared out of the windscreen. "Huh. Earl looks after him well."  
"He does, hun! He looks after ya too, ya just choose not t'see it. Listened t' yer rant this mornin'. Can Ah ask y'a question now?"  
Carlos frowned and looked at Josie. "Um, yeah I guess."  
"Why does it matter t' ya, what his human form is?"

Carlos thought then shrugged. "Curiosity, part wanting to see him more than a couple times a month, wanting to get to know him. And he knows I'm Carlos but I don't have a name for him."  
Josie laughed. Carlos smiled. "It's embarrassing! I mean, how do I say _I am utterly in awe of you, you confuse me, I don't know what you are but I think you are the most interesting being in my world and we've spent a few nights out together now, maybe I'm a little bit in love and by the way, honey, what's your name?"_  
Josie laughed louder. "Sweetie, don't'cha think ya might just ask him!"  
Carlos smiled. "I will. Ugh, I've had a lot to take in today. Oh! Umm..."  
"Ya feel it? Ain't dark yet but moon's up. Don't'cha worry 'bout me. Go run, Erika's comin' for me."  
Carlos looked at Josie, looked away, reddening. Josie laughed. "Ha! Oh hun, I promise I won't look. Go on, get." Josie got out the car and turned her back. Carlos stamped around for a minute, sighed and rolled his eyes, stripped and changed. Josie turned in time to see a magnificent black spiderwolf speeding with fluid grace toward the canyon.

\----------

_I didn't know whether to be furious with Earl or hug him. He drove me out tonight, by the time we reached my usual spot I had changed, coiled in the back, waiting for freedom. Earl opened the doors, offered his hand and I let him stroke my mane before I jumped down. I put a paw on each of his shoulders to threaten a kiss and he laughed, pushed me off. I walked with him a little way to his campsite, sniffed and listened for danger then trotted away._

_Carlos waited for me. He rolled over in submissive greeting, the first time he has done that, and waited for me to approach. I couldn't be angry with him. I lay facing him, greeted him with a touch of my muzzle against his and sat up. He apologised. I said it was okay, Earl told me. I asked if he could accept me for what I am even if he didn't understand what that was. He said yes, but he needed to know one thing. I prepared myself for another disappointment, a question about whether I was human or spiderwolf and a night skulking nearby Earl's camp. But it was far simpler and far more important than that._

_He smiled at me with his amber eyes and asked me for my name._

\-----------

The spiderwolf blinked at Carlos. "My name?"  
Carlos shook out his pelt. "Yes, your name. Or _a_ name, at least. I don't know what to call you."  
"Oh!" Carlos sensed indecision. "Umm, I guess you will have to give me a name. I don't really use a name for myself when I'm running."  
Carlos looked away. "I will give it some thought. You were real fast last night. Want to race?"

\----------

_We set out a course defined by rocks and cacti and we raced. We ran for fun, laughing and yipping like cubs. It started as a competition to see who was faster over short distances, powerful acceleration, flattened ears, wind whipping our pelts. My limbs felt restless. I wanted to pounce and roll in the moonlight, muted greys to my daytime eyes but such a beautiful spectrum to my night vision. I won the sprints although he was close behind. He has more bulk than I, but explosive power to match._

_He suggested a break then a distance challenge. I made an excuse when he proposed a route that went past Earl's campsite and my car. Instead, I asked for a test of agility. We made up a course that took in sharp turns and zigzags, obstacles and jumps. We raced together. I won each time, keeping a tail-length ahead, taunting him a little. He asked if he could watch me run. I set off, quickly reaching full speed, negotiating the course with ease gained from decades of practice. I hoped Earl was watching too._

_I returned spent and panting. He lay with his muzzle inches from mine, looked into my eyes. He said that since I was quick and mostly silver he would name me Mercury._

_I think we slept._

\---------

It was Carlos who noticed, yawning, limbs prickling at the weakening moonlight as it filtered through the atmosphere from a low angle. "Hey, Mercury! Look up!"  
Mercury yelped as he leapt up and set off, Carlos raced behind. They parted just before reaching Carlos's truck. Mercury offered a playful bite to the back of Carlos's neck as farewell. Carlos ran on, changing on the move, wondering for a second why he was slow and uncomfortable until he stood up to cover the last hundred yards on two feet.  
Mercury slipped into Earl's tent. The scoutmaster woke up as the frightening, silver and black two-tone spiderwolf transformed into a very average human form. He frowned.  
"Jeez, Cecil, you wanna be more careful. I bet he's never even seen his transformation. How much would he freak out if he saw yours?"  
Cecil laughed. "I guess you're right. He decided to call me _Mercury_. Is that cute or what?"  
Earl groaned, but smiled and ruffled Cecil's hair. "Ugh, I may vomit. Get some sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you psychosomatic86 for beta-ing this chapter and giving me such helpful feedback.


	8. Caffeine and Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a coffee-date. Not a date-date. No way.  
> Carlos confesses he might be falling in love. But who is the mystery human?

"Hey boss, you busy? You watching wildlife documentaries on the internet again?" Rochelle waved a clipboard at Carlos.  
"Yeah. Look at the way this cheetah moves, watch in slow motion as it takes real fast corners, see its tail?"  
Rochelle smiled. "Conservation of angular momentum. Hey, you found a bit of physics that's also biology! Well done you!"  
Carlos scowled but did not lift his eyes from the screen. "Are you being sarcastic? Because we've talked about this and you know I can't always tell."  
"Sorry, I was," Rochelle looked over Carlos's shoulder. "Ugh, you've got an old documentary on wolves queued. You'll hate it, anthropomorphises like crazy. Wolves aren't people. Come on, this is far more interesting." She reached over and froze the video on the screen. "Look!"  
Carlos took the clipboard and stared at the rows and columns of numbers. His face furrowed into a frown, then his eyes widened. "Shit, Rochelle! These measurements are seriously weird!"  
Rochelle laughed. "I know, right? It's like you said, time really is slowing down here!"

Dave, Rochelle and Carlos sat around the table in the break area with coffee and ideas. Dave wrote on the formica tabletop with a dry-wipe marker as they all shouted out half-cooked hypotheses. After a while, settling back with their second caffeine hit, ideas all evaporated, Rochelle sighed. "Gotta say, guys, I have no idea. Relativity? Gravity? That weird underground rumbling we sometimes get? Ugh." Dave nodded.  
"We need more information. I wonder where we could get more information, eh?"  
Two pairs of eyes turned to Carlos. He groaned. "Fine. Fine. I'll call the radio station and ask if they can find out anything for us."  
"Why call _the radio station_ when you could call that cute radio host directly and arrange to meet him to talk science?" Dave carefully avoided looking at Rochelle. "You know, invite him out for coffee and maybe a hot fu—"  
"DAVE!" The scientist flinched as Rochelle kicked his leg under the table.  
"—fudge brownie at the Moonlite?" 

Carlos laughed despite his embarrassment. “Okay. I will call him and ask if his listeners can tell us any more about their experiences of time differences around town. Someone must have noticed, seen something.” Rochelle and Dave chanted the rest of the City Council slogan, _Say nothing! Drink to forget!_ as they went back to their own projects.

Carlos finished watching documentaries and making notes before he went up to his apartment. He closed the blinds, lay on the sofa and dozed. When he woke, it was already dark. He groaned and rubbed his face. He was exhausted, but at least his arm didn't throb this time and although his muscles felt weak he didn't have to take a break halfway upstairs. Carlos sat up, rubbed brisk fingertips across his scalp and reached for his phone.

An hour later, Carlos woke up again and, again, reached for his phone. He spoke to the room. "Ugh, better get this phone call over. Hope it's not too weird to call him this late." When he focused on the screen, Carlos saw two text messages waiting for him.

 _You sounded weird on the radio tonight, you ok? Call me?_ from Rochelle, and _Look forward to coffee tomorrow at the Moonlite 4pm_ from Cecil. Carlos checked his recent call list. He had no memory of calling Cecil's number five times. He texted Cecil back.  
_See you there but I don’t remember calling you_  
A reply came in minutes.  
_….That happens around here, probably nothing to worry about._  
\------------------

_I was so excited! Carlos called me to ask if I could find out anything from my listeners about how time is slowing down and we ended up arranging a coffee-date! I could barely sit still, but I had a show to do. I did ask my listeners, sort of, but Carlos (lovely Carlos!) put it so much better than I could. I decided to play the voicemails he left rather than reinterpret his message and risk making myself look silly by getting it wrong. So much of his meaning might be changed if I translated his message into my words. He sounded strange on the phone. I was tempted to call him back, check that he was okay, but he texted me first to confirm the time and place of our date._

_Shut up Earl, I know it’s not really a **date** -date. A spiderwolf can dream! I wonder if he will recognize me even a little. Ugh, I can sense Earl rolling his eyes._

\----------------------

Carlos was early. The clock above the counter claimed he had eight minutes spare when he walked through the swing doors of the diner. He looked around in case Cecil was also early, before choosing an empty booth. Cecil arrived fifteen minutes later just as Carlos considered ordering without him.  
“Carlos! I am so sorry I’m late. I worried that you might not wait.” Cecil slipped into the seat opposite. As Cecil sat, Carlos half-stood to offer a handshake as greeting. He noticed, but did not comment aloud, that Cecil had warm hands. “Have you ordered?”  
Carlos shook his head. “Not yet, I waited for you.” He picked up a wipe-clean menu. Cecil smiled and took it from his hand.  
“I know the best thing to order here. Trust me?” Carlos couldn’t help smiling at the wide eyes and raised eyebrow, Cecil’s head slightly on one side.  
“Sure, I guess. I just want coffee really.”  
Cecil waved at the apron-clad counter assistant. Soon they were served with plain coffee and a portion of pie with two forks. Carlos frowned at the plate. “Um, this is not a personal coffee-date. I am meeting you for scientific reasons. You said on your show…”  
Cecil looked up and laughed. “You listened to my show? I say all sorts of things. It’s easier to talk to my microphone alone in my booth than to tell someone—”  
“Yes. Rochelle recorded part of it for me, said I’d find it informative.” Carlos curtailed Cecil’s revelation before he found out how it finished. “I have no memory of leaving those voicemails but my call history shows I did call, several times. The timing of my calls is consistent with when I was asleep on my sofa. At least, I perceive that I was asleep. Evidence from my phone and your show points to a quite different chain of events, ending with me sitting here drinking coffee and thinking—“  
Carlos stopped abruptly. Cecil prompted.  
“And thinking?”  
“Uh, that time is really weird here. I mean not just a bit slower than usual, not even linear. I wondered if you could ask your listeners if they have ever experienced anything unusual. Especially around the Dog Park. I don’t want to say too much in case it influences what people remember. Memory is strange like that.”  
“Memory. Yes. I agree with you on that point. Carlos, I would love to help you with this but when I talk about the Dog Park on my show, Station Management gets real unhappy because the City Council doesn’t like it. Especially after that incident with the feral dogs. Do you like the pie?”  
Carlos looked at the pie. He picked up the second fork and carved a piece off the untouched side.  
“It is certainly unusual. Quite a distinctive flavour.” He took another forkful. “Hmm. What kind is it?”  
Cecil smiled. “Moonlite Special. I have yet to work up the courage to ask for the recipe.”

\------------

_I was late and embarrassed. I shielded my thoughts from him in case I accidentally blurted out my identity. His consciousness was full of ideas shifting and changing, forming and shattering and reforming like the colours of a kaleidoscope. He hopped from one concept to the next and the next... It was intoxicating and exhausting! I had to keep my distance. Earl is solid, stable, grounding.  
We talked for a while. I didn't want to go but I had to, I was tired and I had work to do. I could sense his fatigue weighing on him and I wanted him to get home safe. I tried to drop hints. I said it was difficult to find energy sometimes and although I do not look athletic, I enjoy running from time to time. I do not believe he noticed. For someone who is supposed to observe, he notices very little at times._

_We said goodbye a little awkwardly, standing under the awning. He offered another handshake. I took it. Carlos held my hand as he spoke. He asked me not to talk about him the way I do on my show. I looked at him, trembling slightly and unsure of my words. I asked why? I say good things. He sighed. He said he struggles to understand people. He looked sad, I ached to tell him. I told him maybe I understood. He shook himself, a gesture that made me smile. I almost imitated his motion, I had been suppressing the urge to shake ever since we left the diner._

_He released my hand and walked to his car. I missed his touch._

\---------------

Carlos returned to the lab. Rochelle punched Carlos lightly on the shoulder. "How was your date?"  
Carlos shrugged. "It was not a date. Just two acquaintances meeting for coffee, pie and a chat about the nature of time."  
"Oh, Are you _very_ disappointed?"  
Carlos glanced at Rochelle's gaze. "What?"  
Rochelle smiled. "That it wasn't a da-ate."  
"Go do some science with Dave." Carlos laughed.  
Rochelle sat down, serious for a moment. "No, really. Are you okay?"  
"I'm fine." Carlos looked up. "He is quite different in person compared to on his show. I don't want to jump into anything. if he's even interested. All that stuff he says might just be part of his show. And there might be... it might be complicated."  
Rochelle leaned in conspiratorially close. "Boss? Are you saying there's someone else?"  
Carlos smiled, "Like I said. Complicated."

Over the next nine days or so, Carlos did not mention Cecil. Rochelle knew better than to pry. Cecil did not mention Carlos on his show. Carlos kept his diary accurately, documenting how he felt, results of tests of his reaction time, eyesight, grip strength and hearing, but no longer cross referencing blood test results. He sat at home, reading over his notes, looking for any clues. Harlan had said it was not the moon that controlled him, but the pattern was there. Carlos closed his eyes. _Correlation does not imply causation_ he reminded himself. The pattern itself was the basis for a hypothesis regarding the presence of moonlight and his physical condition, but until he had a testable hypothesis about precisely _how_ the moon could cause such changes, it was no more substantial than the loose threads on a new lab-coat.

Carlos stashed his notebook under the sofa cushion. He itched. He wanted to be outside, cool in the breeze caused by his own movement. He checked the calendar. Full moon was still two days away. His phone buzzed, a number he did not recognise. He frowned and put it down again. Two minutes later the same caller tried again.

"Hello, this is-"  
_Carlos, yes. It's Harlan._  
"Oh! I don't remember giving you my number. Where--"  
_That's not important. Can you go out tonight? He needs you._  
"But it's not--"  
_Full moon, I know. Doesn't matter, whatever form you can manage, can you go meet him?_  
"I guess, um, has something happened? Is he okay?"  
Harlan laughed. _Did you go outside today? Listen to the radio at all? I guess not. You should listen more._  
"Okay, I'll go now."  
_I'll be watching over you both._  
"Uh... thank you. Can I ask you to do something for me?"  
Harlan paused. _You can ask. I might refuse._  
"Okay, this might be weird, but if you see me change can you video it? I will leave my phone unlocked with my clothes."  
_What the... Can you imagine... Good grief. Just think... Look, go meet him._  
The phone went quiet. Carlos packed a bottle of water and some spare clothes into a bag and drove out.

Mercury was waiting by the joshua tree. Carlos, still in human form, stood nearby. He closed his eyes.  
"I can't read you, Mercury, either I can't do it when I am like this or you're keeping yourself private tonight. I missed you. Can I come closer?"  
Mercury rolled over once. Carlos approached. He reached out one hand but did not touch. Mercury stretched out and licked Carlos's hand. Carlos laughed, held both arms out and fell backwards under the weight of spiderwolf as Mercury launched into his embrace. Carlos struggled, pushed Mercury off and stood with difficulty, breathing heavily and cursing at his clothing. Carlos the spiderwolf shook the remnants of his shirt and stepped his hind legs out of his jeans. Mercury helped him remove the shreds of flannel that hung from his back. Carlos swore.  
"That was fast. It's early, I didn't think I would change tonight."  
Mercury shook with mirth. "I am glad you did. Shame about the shirt, I liked that one. It fit you so well. I missed you too. Can we rest here or do you need to run?"

Carlos lay beside Mercury. "I am happy to be here with you. How have you been?"  
Mercury rolled closer. "I'm okay. I've been better, I had a rough couple of days."  
Carlos sensed fatigue and a fading remnant of fear. He leaned his head against Mercury's. "You want to talk about it?" He tried to radiate calm.  
"Ugh, not really. I have talked enough today. Did your team investigate the sandstorm?"  
Carlos sighed. "We put some sensors out but nobody has had time to collect them and download their data. Rochelle and Dave will do that in the morning. We should be able to tell quite a lot from the readings, but I have no information yet."  
"Will you be able to tell where it came from, and why it... it..."  
"I can tell you more tomorrow. Come closer."  
Mercury snuggled against Carlos, mind calmer, head on Carlos's neck and nose buried in Carlos's thick mane. Mercury dozed while Carlos stayed alert. After a while, Carlos realised he was smiling.

Mercury woke slowly, reluctant to relinquish sleep. Carlos became aware of Mercury's waking thoughts, images that made no sense, people fighting themselves until only one stood. Hands around another man's neck, determined and afraid and horrified, aware of his potential. Letting go. Mercury jumped up, shook himself and the images dissolved. He watched Carlos stretch and shake. Mercury bounced a circle around Carlos.  
"Want to run?"

\------------

_I almost gave myself away. Earl admitted that he was one careless word away from mentioning me by name when he called Carlos. We must be more careful, let him guess, let him work it out, let him find out what I am and still want to be with me._

_Or not. He could choose to be solitary and I think he would be happy. One of his scientists could be his guardian, or perhaps Earl knows a good scout who needs responsibility. One of the young scout leaders, snapping at his heels, waiting for him to give up his title. Carlos would keep them busy. We could agree territories that did not overlap._

_I did not need Carlos to do anything other than be a presence beside me. He was nervous of me at first, I sensed fear of me. But he opened his arms and I wanted him to treat me like a pet, the way Earl used to so many years ago that I have lost count. It was comforting to be held and stroked. He let me watch him change, such an intimate moment!_

_I slept, exhausted from the effort of surviving the horrors of the day. Waking, I forgot where I was. I thought the steady form beside me was perhaps Earl, but usually if I wake beside Earl I have human form. When I realised I shut down thoughts of the day and suggested a run to clear my head. He agreed with enthusiasm and we raced our agility course. He won! Not on the first race, but on the fourth or fifth, he out manoeuvred me on the hairpin bends and reached the finish a tail-length in front!_

_Just after that he broke my heart. He asked about my relationship with Earl. I failed to explain adequately and said: we are like brothers but more than that. He asked what my feelings are about our relationship. I said it was not yet fully formed. Once he truly recognised me in my other form we would know what we were to each other. He paced and sat a few feet away, looking towards the canyon. His tail beat the sand, churning up clouds of it that added to his indistinct aura. He said, "I don't know how to tell you but I think I am developing feelings for a human."_

_What could I say? I blocked my communication immediately. He noticed and came closer, bumped his head against mine. He said he was confused about it, he hardly knew the man but felt there was some kind of connection between them that he could not identify. He said he loved me in a way he didn't fully understand yet. He told me the feelings he was developing for this human were different, had a different focus. When he thought about me he felt excitement calmed by deep affection. When he thought about the human... I begged him not to tell me any more._

_We sat close together in silence, a slight breeze wafting his mane. I should not have been surprised. His human form is attractive and he meets me for only two or three nights, then not at all for almost a month. He is not a solitary creature and I had no right to expect him to be content with what little I offer. I released my hold on my emotions and thoughts._

_Carlos said he was sorry, he did not mean to hurt me. I told him I was fine, I'd get over it. I made light of it, asked who my rival was and how would they react to seeing him change. My comment crushed him, he had not considered the complications of such a close relationship with a human. I asked again who it was but he did not want to tell me._

_He said he hoped it was me, he did not want to tell me because he was not sure, and my heart fluttered back to life in my chest._

\-----------------

Carlos stayed with Mercury until he felt the urge to change back. He felt the unwelcome tingle in his limbs as the moon touched the horizon. Carlos leaned against the silver-maned spiderwolf. "I should go while I can still run. Will I see you here tomorrow?"  
"I will be here. This is my place." Mercury got up and trotted along the canyon rim. Carlos caught up and matched his pace.  
"What I said about the human, I'm sorry. But I thought you should know."  
"It's okay, really. I can't expect you not to fall for anyone else. Is it one of your scientists?"  
"Glowing clouds, no! That would be weird." Carlos laughed at the thought.  
"You don't have to tell me who it is." Mercury bared his teeth. "Even if I promise not to hurt them."  
Carlos frowned. "It might all be nothing. You know, a misinterpretation. Reading too much into things."  
Mercury laughed too. "Okay, tell me at least what it is you like about this human. What attracted you to them in the first place?"  
Carlos smiled. "You will probably think this is stupid. It was his voice. I heard him on the radio."  
Mercury yipped and bounced a few times. They were almost at the point where their paths diverged. Carlos felt the tingle in his skin intensify to an uncomfortable prickle, gave a yelp and ran. He changed just as he reached his car. He turned, looked back across the desert, looking for any hint of movement. A silvery flash, a sprinting shadow, but he saw nothing. 

Nothing except, maybe if he squinted, the fading moonlight and soft starlight reflecting from a figure of average size with long dark hair and a silver streak. Carlos turned to pick up his flashlight, set off a few steps in the direction of the illusion, but the figure was gone.


	9. Persuasion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The desert.  
> Two spiderwolves.  
> A handful of scouts.  
> Teddy's militia.  
> Go.

Earl hissed at Cecil in their tent. "He could have seen you change! Cecil, have you any idea how close you came to giving yourself away?"  
Cecil grinned. "Earl, it's fine. He did not see me change. I gave him another hint, that's all. As soon as I sensed he had seen me I ran. He didn't follow."  
"You have got to be more careful. He still doesn't know everything. What if you reveal yourself and he finds your human form unattractive? Are you prepared for that?"  
"Earl! Are you trying to tell me I am ugly?" Cecil feigned hurt until Earl sighed and hugged him. "Of course not. I want you not to put yourself in a difficult position."  
Cecil sniggered. "I was imagining all kinds of positions—"  
"Cecil! Please. Take this seriously." Earl cupped Cecil's face in his hands and planted a kiss on Cecil's forehead. "What if—"  
Cecil cut in. "Earl, he told me he's falling for a human." Earl hugged him again.  
"Oh. Oh Ceec, I'm so--"  
"Someone with a nice voice. Said he heard it on the radio."  
"O-o-oh?" Earl smiled. "He ever mention if he listens to any other shows at all?"  
"Nope. I think he knows but he wants more evidence."  
"Be. Careful. Your lovely Carlos might love _Mercury_ and might be falling for _Cecil_ but I doubt if he'll be able to get his head around what we have with each other. He doesn't like me much."  
Cecil sighed. "I think he is afraid of you. Earl, would you, I dunno, make an effort?"  
"Make friends?"  
"Yeah."

The next day, as afternoon drifted into evening, Earl knocked on the door of Carlos's lab and went in. A woman in a stained lab-coat called out, "Sorry, we're closing now. Is it urgent?"  
Earl looked around, admiring the shiny glassware and humming electricals. "No, I only came by to see Carlos. Is he here?"  
"Yeah, somewhere. Wait there." She took a deep breath, yelled, "CARLOS! VISITOR!" and smiled at Earl. "Sit if you want. There might be coffee. I'd offer to pour but..." The scientist raised her gloved, stained hands. "Dissecting something gross."  
A voice came from a door at the far end of the lab. "Rochelle, you finished with that thing? Get all the samples Dave needs? Ugh, how long has it been dead? it stinks." Carlos appeared through the door. He saw Earl and frowned. "Is everything okay?"  
Earl smiled. "Yes. I dropped by on a personal matter."  
Rochelle looked from Carlos to Earl and back again. She raised one eyebrow and smiled. Carlos shook his head. He shrugged off his lab-coat and draped it over a chair. "Urgent?"  
"No, I brought you these," Earl held out a bag, "and I have something you probably want to see." Earl's eyes flicked to Rochelle, who was cleaning the dissection table whilst making a show of _not listening_ , and back to Carlos.  
"Thank you." Carlos took the bag, looked inside and laughed. "I completely forgot about my clothes and shoes until I got home. Would you like to come up to my apartment? We can talk there."

Carlos glared at Rochelle who failed to stifle a snigger. Earl threw her a tight lipped frown, followed Carlos out of the lab and up the stairs by the side of the building. He waited until Carlos invited him in.

"You said you have something to show me?"  
Earl grinned. "Yes. I thought this was a real bad idea when you asked, but I did it because you are a scientist and I feared you would find another way." He took a memory card out of his wallet. "I got worried that you might ask one of your team to video you instead. Your laptop take one of these?"  
Carlos opened his laptop and felt for the memory card reader slot under the keyboard. He took the card from Earl and pushed it in. A minute later a window opened with one video file. Carlos double clicked, watched the first few seconds and paused it. He scrabbled under his seat for his notebook. Before starting the video clip again, he looked at Earl.  
"Thank you, Earl, this means a lot. I need to see."  
Earl rolled his eyes and sat beside Carlos. "I did it to protect him. I can't have video clips of spiderwolves accidentally being uploaded to social media. You are not supposed to exist."  
Carlos scowled. "Fine. Whatever. I'll watch it, take notes, you can take the card back and go. I won't take up too much of your time."  
Earl put both hands over his face. "Ugh. That came out badly. Carlos, I am sorry, I promised Cee... I promised I'd see you and that I'd be nice and I've offended you because I'm so used to having to be protective of him. Watch and take notes. We can talk after. You might want to slow down playback, you changed real fast."

Carlos watched the short clip six times. The first, normal speed, he watched. The second time he clicked through frame by frame. The next four times he took notes, pausing every few seconds to scribble in his notebook. Earl waited until Carlos finished and popped the card out of its slot. Carlos held the card out.  
"Here. I promise I didn't make any copies. You can check if you want."  
Earl took the card back and headed for the kitchen. "I believe you. Can I have your notebook?"  
Carlos followed. "Not again!"  
Earl laughed. "No, just kidding. I could tell whatever language you wrote in wasn't in common use around here."  
Earl melted the memory card, patted Carlos on the shoulder and returned to Carlos's laptop. He closed it after searching for video files by date.

Carlos broke silence. "Did he tell you anything after we parted yesterday?"  
Earl groaned. "You have no idea how excruciating it is to hear him talk about you. Incessantly." Earl saw Carlos's face. "Oh! No, no. It's not like that! Ugh. He said he couldn't explain what we have. Neither can I. We were like family, you know? But it is more, I am his protector. I'm his and he's mine. There is no human equivalent that I know."  
Carlos looked away. "Do you sleep with him?"  
Earl smiled. "Sleep with, yes, often, whatever form he chooses, and I will not stop that for you. Sex, never and neither of us wants to. Is that what you wanted to know?" Carlos stared, speechless. "Look, he wants us to get along, get to know each other."  
Carlos blinked. "So, you sleep together?"  
Earl sighed. "He escorts you to your truck, makes sure you are safe, then he comes to me and keeps me awake talking about you."  
Carlos frowned. "But you don't have sex?"  
Earl looked into Carlos's eyes, touched a hand on his arm. "No, we do not have sex. We don't want to do that. Is it so difficult to imagine a close relationship without sex?"

Carlos sighed. "Sorry, I ask inappropriate questions without thinking. Rochelle usually warns me but..."  
Earl smiled. "You have the right I guess, where he is concerned. Do you want him like that?"  
Carlos thought for a few seconds. "As a spiderwolf, no. If he is the human I think... hope he is," Carlos made a flicker of eye contact with Earl's steady gaze. "This is real hard to talk about. I don't talk about personal stuff."  
Earl reached over again, took Carlos's hand for just an instant and let go. "Advice? Stop saying _when he's a spiderwolf_ and _when he's human_. He's a spiderwolf all the time. As are you. You are a spiderwolf right now, whatever form you choose to show. So, who is this human you like?"  
Carlos got up and paced the room.  
"Ugh, I don't want to say in case I am wrong. It would hurt him. I mean, what if I fell for someone he hates?"  
Earl laughed. "Better not say Steve Carlsberg."  
Carlos laughed too. "No! Not whoever that is. No. But thanks for the extra hints. Mercury hates Steve Carlsberg and his name begins with C."  
Earl froze. "Oh, you noticed."  
"I am a scientist, I notice things. Observant is one of, oh, maybe the top eight things a scientist is."  
Earl smiled and stood. "I'm heading out to set up camp. My scouts will be tracking you tonight, give them a challenge."

\-----------------

_Carlos and I planned to outwit the scouts. Earl asked for a challenge so I did not tell him the route I would take. I asked Carlos if he was any better at controlling his changing form and he told me he had realised, watching the video Earl took of us, although reflected light from the moon helps it is he who makes the decision to change. He called moonlight a catalyst, said when the moon is bright he changes easily, the stimulus of touching me made him focus on how powerful he felt in this form, and he changed because he wanted to. He called it overwhelming, scientifically interesting and something he wanted to study in depth. I asked what that meant and he radiated enthusiasm although I understood little beyond the raw emotion that seeped from his aura. In this form we do not need to vocalise our feelings. I felt his love of science and his love for me mingled and I showed him joy in return._

_We planned a route. Earl joined us, I felt him approach. Carlos sat up, stood guard, ears and eyes alert for the human presence. I waited, Carlos circled, questioned if I could sense danger, stood poised and pointing in the direction of Earl’s arrival. Before Earl was within shouting distance, Carlos yipped and returned to sit by me. I greeted Earl by knocking him over. Carlos watched us wrestle for a moment then yipped again. Earl pushed me off, held out a hand and Carlos consented to a scratch on the head behind his main eye cluster. Just for a few seconds I felt his pleasure at that simple interaction then he pulled away, confusion and annoyance clouding his aura. I laughed at him. Earl held his hand out again, cocked an eyebrow, but Carlos remained out of reach._

_Earl said we should set off, the scouts were close behind and it would be embarrassing to be caught at home. I set off first, pelt blown back by the wind passing over and around me. Carlos followed, drafting behind me, living in the moment. I led Carlos along the canyon rim then cut abruptly away, almost doubling back. We ran a wide perimeter around home and into the deserted scout camp. We messed around, running back and forwards to leave a confusion of footprints and ran out of camp in different directions. We remained close enough to be in contact and met up again by the canyon. Carlos looked over. It was a long way down._

_I sensed it as Carlos heard it. A voice echoed up from the canyon. Adult human, not a scout, it said, “There.”_

\-------------------------------

Carlos and Mercury ran back from the canyon edge and put a mile between themselves and the voice. Carlos was agitated. “Who was it? Do you know? I heard one but I sensed many. Did you count?”  
Mercury changed course, back towards the canyon on an asymptotic path that would graze the rim farther down. “I know that voice. I think there are four, maybe five of Teddy’s militia in the canyon.”  
“Why are they there? Do you think they are looking for us? Did they see us?” Carlos’s fear was infectious.  
“Maybe. There were some attacks. There are always attacks on livestock but it is never me. I hate to ask but have you—“  
“No way! How can you even ask me that!” Carlos was not afraid to be angry at the images in Mercury’s suggestion.  
“They are probably here to make a show of hunting spiderwolves and they will go home and back up each other’s boasts of their bravery at coming out with an arsenal crammed with semi-automatic weaponry. We are going into the canyon here.”  
Carlos skidded to a halt in the dust. “What? Shouldn’t we go as fast as possible in exactly the opposite direction?”  
“Ha! No. Earl taught me that if there’s someone chasing you with murder in mind, the best place to be is right behind them. That way they’re still looking but you know exactly where they are. We have an advantage – they think we are stupid. Want to practise your tracking skills?”

Carlos followed Mercury, clambering down into the canyon. At the bottom, he picked up the militia’s trail easily, betrayed by their distinctive odour of cheap beer, urine and… Carlos sniffed the ground carefully and tasted the air… wood varnish. He set off, sensing Mercury behind him, keeping him from running off too fast. Farther up, the trail crossed the sluggish mud on the canyon base and climbed a narrow, steep track up and over the lip. Carlos halted and listened, sniffed the air, inched his eyes over the rim. He saw the group, far enough away that they would not see him. He retreated, waiting for guidance. Mercury squeezed past to see for himself.

Carlos asked, “What now?”  
“We watch, but not from here. Look for somewhere better. Think, where would Earl go?”  
Carlos looked over the edge of the canyon again. He slipped onto his belly and emerged, creeping forward. The militia did not notice him. He kept low and slow until he reached an outcropping that promised shelter. Mercury followed, imitating his actions, a growing sense of mirth threatening to spoil Carlos’s moment. Carlos crept amongst the rough red sandstone boulders, hauling himself up to look out over the top. He came muzzle-to-face with a boy in a beige uniform.

Both leapt down and Mercury shook with suppressed laughter at Carlos’s alarm. The boy looked from Mercury to Carlos and back again and grinned.  
“Hi sir, Scoutmaster says change of plan, we are to watch the militia instead of tracking you. He’s gone to try to get rid of them. There are clothes at our camp if you need a change.”  
Carlos, Mercury and the boy climbed the rock again and watched. Earl and two scouts wandered up to the militia, _hellooo_ -ing and waving.  
“Hey buddy, what’s a group o' good ol’ boys like you doin' out in the middle a' nowhere?”  
Teddy spoke. “Damn it Earl—“  
“Whoa there, you kiss your ma with that mouth? Not in front of the youngsters!”  
“Earl, we are hunting spiderwolves. There was a sighting and nobody has seen the Chand brothers since they came out here few months back. I don’t believe they skipped town.”  
One of the militiamen joined in. “Coulda haddan accident, y’know Ted, mighta rolled t’bottom. Got ‘et.”  
Teddy ignored the voice of drunken reason. “Someone reported a sighting. We’re here to make sure there’s no dangerous animal out here, preying on townsfolk out for a harmless night hunt.”  
Earl smiled. “That’s real big o’ya, Ted. Tell me, my scouts are all out here practising tracking and concealment and surprise attacks. Whatcha think your men’ll do, y’know, weapons loaded, coupla beers in ’em, if one of the good townsfolk’s young pride and joys makes a sudden move? You want that I take back someone’s son to them and tell them old Teddy and his boys had a harmless night hunt? Whatcha think, Mr Wilson? Young Franklin's out with us.”  
Teddy scowled at the scoutmaster. He kept eye contact with Earl but shouted a command at his militia. They grumbled, except for Frankie's dad, but they complied, unloading weapons and packing kit, standing and shuffling in the slight chill.

Earl and his two scouts watched the militia leave. He sent the boys to track Teddy’s group back and report on their position. Earl headed to the outcropping that sheltered two spiderwolves and a scout.  
“Scout! Regroup. Send the signal. Oh! Hey you two. Better lay low until we know where those assho— I mean those gentlemen have gone.” Carlos jumped as the scout set off a firework, saluted Earl and ran off into the low scrub. As soon as the boy was out of sight, Mercury stood with his paws on Earl’s shoulders and touched his nose to the scoutmaster’s forehead. Earl laughed and pushed him off. “Ugh, get down, this was a clean uniform! You can thank me in daylight.”  
Carlos hung back. Mercury gazed at him, watched indecision ripple his aura. Earl smiled. "It's fine, Carlos." He reached out a hand. Carlos walked the few steps toward Earl and grasped the offered hand gently for a second.

Earl sat with his back against the sandblasted rock. Mercury lay by his side with his head in Earl's lap. Both looked at Carlos. Mercury huffed out a breath. Earl raised an eyebrow. "Join us, Carlos? Just until we hear the all-clear?" Carlos padded over and lay on Earl's other side, close but not touching. Earl rested a hand on his mane.

When Carlos woke, his head lay in Earl's lap, Earl's hand wove into his hair and Mercury lay half over him for warmth. It took the scientist a minute to realise he was butt-naked in the desert with his head on the thigh of a man he barely knew.


	10. Territorial creatures

Carlos cringed and blushed. He sat up and swore. He could feel Mercury shaking with mirth beside him and Earl grinned. “He does that too, changes in his sleep sometimes. You got a choice, I can send for a scout to bring some clothes or you can change back.  
“Close your eyes.”  
“Aww, seen you before, remember the video?”  
“Earl, close your eyes.”  
Earl shrugged and put both hands over his face and turned round. “There. Not looking at your butt.”  
“Earl!” Beside him, Mercury’s quivering intensified. Carlos stood and pointed at Mercury’s nose. “And that’s not helping either.”  
Mercury leaned against Carlos and looked up at him. Carlos smiled, crouched and changed. He shook himself and yipped to Earl. Earl laughed. “My phone woke you. The tracker scouts say the asshole-army got in their trucks and drove toward town. I have to go back to camp, you two be careful. They might be watching the road to see who drives back after the moon sets.”

\--------------------

_We said goodbye to Earl. Carlos hung back again, I could feel the conflict in him. He waited until I told him he could before walking up to Earl and gently head-butting him on the hip, a move that made Earl smile and stroke Carlos’s mane. Earl marched off towards his scout camp. Carlos asked what I was so happy about since we were being hunted and possibly faced an ambush on our way home. I reminded Carlos that Teddy already knows who we are and will not harm us as long as we have Josie’s protection. I felt him suppress his fear. I reassured him that we were safe. Earl and his scouts look out for us in the sand wastes, Josie and her impossible companions watch over us in town. Mention of Josie made him shiver. He confessed to feeling terrified around Josie’s entourage. I told him if he planned to stay in this community he better get used to feeling terrified._

_We stretched and set off at an easy pace. The moon had slipped below the horizon but Carlos seemed not to notice. I dared not draw his attention to it. Instead I offered to teach him to hunt the desert squirrels whose burrows litter the scrubland. We crouched flat to the red earth, silent and alert, sweeping the terrain for any shimmer of motion close to the ground. He saw one. I inched closer and closer to it as he watched, waited until I was sure it must feel the vibrations of my heartbeat, and pounced. It zigzagged off and we tore after it until it vanished down another burrow. Carlos asked what happens when I catch one. I admitted that I had no idea._

_I stayed beside Carlos until he reached his truck. I asked if he felt the moonlight’s absence. Immediately he changed form and stood. I rested my front paws on his shoulders and touched his forehead. He wrapped his arms lightly around me, leaned his head against mine and told me to be careful._

\-------------------------

Rochelle found Carlos at his work bench in the afternoon. He hummed to himself as he watched the contents of a large flask swirl on the magnetic stirrer hotplate.  
“I heard you go out last night but I did not hear you come home. Did you have a date?”  
Carlos looked round and smiled. “No, not a date. Just met a couple of friends. We stayed out late. I slept in this morning.”  
Rochelle smirked. ”Alone?”  
Carlos laughed. “Yes, alone.”  
Rochelle grinned. “Was it that guy from yesterday? Didn’t think you’d go for a man in uniform. Did you at least invite him back?”  
“His name is Earl, he’s the local scoutmaster. He’s a friend.”  
“But you woke up alone in your own bed, right?”  
Carlos sighed. “No, Rochelle, I woke up naked in the sand wastes with my head in Earl’s lap and my other friend lying on top of me. Okay?”  
Rochelle huffed and turned away. “Huh. No need to get annoyed and make shit up, just say if I tease too much.”  
Carlos’s phone buzzed in his pocket. It was a text.  
_Problem, meet me at Moonlite? Soon? E_  
He frowned and called out that he had to go out, set the timer on the magnetic hotplate and grabbed his keys.

Earl sat at a booth away from the window. Carlos sat opposite. He took one look at Earl and reached a hand across the table to grip Earl’s arm.  
“Are you okay? What happened?”  
Earl flicked his gaze from his coffee to Carlos and back again.  
“Teddy and his band of idiots are campaigning to have me removed as scoutmaster. A lot of them have boys elected to be scouts. They say they will take their boys from my troop and start their own organisation.”  
Carlos sighed and squeezed Earl’s arm once. “Can they do that?”  
“They can. Carlos, they threatened me personally. If I don’t leave, they will say… shit. They will accuse me… I can’t even say it!” He looked up and held Carlos’s gaze. “Whatever you might hear about me, it is not true. I want… I need to drop out for a while.”  
Carlos felt Earl tremble but could not tell whether it was with fear or with rage. “What will happen to the scouts?”  
Earl shook his head. “Nothing. They will go back to being just boys again I guess, unless one of the older fear scouts steps up, or the tough ones could merge with the girl-scouts. I am more concerned about you and him. They are getting rid of me first, I think they will find a way to hurt you next. Be careful, Carlos.”  
“Where will you go? You can hide out at the lab, nobody usually comes near.”  
Earl smiled and put his other hand on top of Carlos’s. “Thank you, but I would go mad cooped up inside. I will take an extended camping vacation. I wanted to see you and tell you myself before I disappear.”  
“Does he know?”  
“Yes. He will help me come up with a cover story. He’s real good at telling stories.”  
Carlos released Earl’s arm and sat back. He leaned forward after a minute and motioned Earl closer. “You know what we are, what we can do, right? Is there any way we can help?”  
Earl smiled. “Hah! Believe me I thought about it! If you were real sneaky you could pick them off one at a time. But that would make things worse. Josie’s help comes with conditions. One of those is not killing people.”  
“Oh.” Carlos thought for a moment. “Oh! Those two—“  
“Shush!” Earl looked around. “I smoothed that over with the Erikas, said you were brand new and didn’t know your strength or that you even had venom.  
“Can’t Josie help you?”  
Earl sighed. “Josie told me her loyalty is to Night Vale and Night Vale needs me to be hidden. The Erikas will look after him, and you when they can. You shouldn’t exist, Josie said.” Earl watched Carlos’s expression. He leaned forward and took Carlos’s hand. “Josie is wrong. At first I didn’t understand why he did it, couldn’t see what he saw in you, but I'm glad he has you. I am glad we have you.” Earl stood. “I… uh… I have to go. Don’t go to the canyon tonight, Teddy will probably be there. I will text you a location to meet him later.” Carlos stood too and offered a handshake. Earl smiled, stroked Carlos’s left cheek and kissed his right. Carlos sat down again with his hand to his face as Earl left without looking back.

\----------------

_I wept when Earl told me. I wanted to relieve Teddy Williams of his throat and plant my venom fangs in Buddy Wilson's veins. But Earl spoke reason and I listened. He would camp far beyond our usual territory, to the south. He would seek out a new area for Carlos and me to run. Farther from town, safer. He asked me not to go alone. I asked how he would cope on his own but he smiled, kissed me and said he would be fine. I made him promise to stay in touch as much as he dared._

_Together we cooked up a plausible cover story for his disappearance and I reported it on my show. I went home to an empty apartment and waited for Earl to text before setting off out of town in the wrong direction. I parked out of view of the road, read his directions again, changed and ran. As I neared the rendezvous, a large outcropping about a mile from the abandoned missile silo, I sensed Carlos. He was so expertly concealed in a cleft halfway up the rocks that I did not see him until he moved. I yipped a quiet greeting and he jumped down to join me._

_Establishing a new territory is terrifying and exhilarating and hard work. I explained the process and Carlos seemed to understand quickly. He said it was just like setting up a new lab. He laughed at my confusion and clarified that instead of scent marking, he taped off a section of bench on the day they arrived and wrote his name on it with a dry-wipe marker, Rochelle cluttered the periphery of her domain with small personal items, and Dave simply lay full length on the dissection slab and shouted "mine!" I said I would like to see his lab because I had not seen inside since the day they unpacked, and Earl told me about how impressive it looked. Carlos immediately invited me to visit. He said they had done well over the past few months thanks in part to the enthusiasm of a local radio host, and could hire an assistant each. He watched me as he asked if I knew anyone who could get the word out that they were recruiting. I am sure he felt my heart rate rise._

_We set about exploring. I knew the area a little but Carlos was an interloper so we started with a spiral path out from our new base. Setting up a new territory with Carlos was exciting. I wondered if he knew what it meant, to mark out a joint territory. Before, he was a guest in my home. We were making our joint home now. I think he sensed it from me because he stayed nearby, marked close to where I did and stopped to share grooming often. When I was sure he had our territory marking technique right, I let him lead. He was cautious, investigating every hiding place and checking every possible den for signs of occupation. I was at once reassured by his thoroughness and exasperated by it._

_I looked back. The outcropping at the centre of our new home was still easily visible so we had not covered too much area in one go. Carlos yipped and stood alert, pointing away. He called me over. I sensed what he did, a scent on the ground and in the air. We glanced at each other, waved our heads to get a better sense of direction, and ran. We found the perimeter of Earl's camp about five miles out. We crept up, intending to surprise him, inching closer to the tent and the modest campfire. I froze. Carlos was rock-still beside me. Earl was not alone._

\---------------------

Earl sighed. "I do understand. I am asking you to consider it. My boys need a leader. They are well trained and they like to be useful. Most are excellent trackers and know the basics of guerrilla fighting. Would you rather they were allied to your group, or taken in by the militia?"  
Earl's companion scowled. "I have no use for boys who want to play at being soldiers, Mr Harlan."  
Earl nodded. "They are good scouts. I would not ask you to assimilate the whole troop, just keep an eye on the training of those who show promise. Keep their minds open."  
The other figure stood, revealing a lack of stature more than compensated for in attitude. "One last thing before I say yes or no. Can they read?"  
Earl grinned. "They will read whatever they can lay their eyes on and argue about it afterwards. Several of my boys gained their _extreme literary criticism_ badges around the campfire a few weeks ago."  
The short figure stuck out a hand. Earl stood and shook it. They nodded to each other and the girl walked calm into the darkness.

Carlos and Mercury edged forward again until Earl spoke.  
"I know you're there. It's safe here."  
Carlos and Mercury trotted up to join Earl by the campfire. Mercury nuzzled against Earl's neck, making him laugh and push him off. Carlos touched his snout to Earl's cheek and retreated. Earl smiled and touched his face for a second. Mercury yipped at Carlos once, quietly. Earl held out one arm towards Carlos and the other toward Mercury. "Come here. I miss you both already and I'm barely gone yet. You can't stay with me for long, I'm moving camp at sunup and I need to know you are safe home before I sleep." The two spiderwolves lay either side of Earl, allowing his fingers to weave in and out of their manes and scratch their necks, until the scoutmaster told them to go. Mercury said his usual farewell then looked at Carlos. Carlos placed his paws on Earl's shoulders and kissed his forehead before backing off. Earl laughed.  
"Come here, Carlos, please."  
Carlos walked up and sat in front of Earl. Earl rubbed Carlos's mane roughly with both hands, leaned close and whispered, _It's fine if you never say it back to me but I want you to know. I love you._ In the background, Mercury laughed. 

The spiderwolves returned to their outcropping and marked out the first part of their territory over again, extending it by a little after the second pass. They rested amongst the rocks.  
"It's true, you know." Mercury rolled over fully once, landing closer to Carlos.  
"What is?" Carlos leaned against Mercury.  
"What Earl said. We both love you."  
Carlos sensed Mercury's nervousness and set about grooming Mercury's mane. After a few minutes, Mercury seemed calmer. Carlos stopped and sat back. "Earl was wrong about one thing."  
"Oh?"  
"I do love him. Kinda. And I wanted to tell him but he's yours and ugh it's complicated!"  
Mercury laughed again.  
"He's ours and we're his. The only complication is that we are waiting for you to acknowledge me in my other form."

\---------------------

For the next three nights, Carlos drove out, hid his truck off-road and helped expand their new territory. Earl moved on but his trail led too far from home and they turned back. On the fourth day, Earl texted to say stay away until he sent an all-clear message.  
Carlos sighed and put his phone back in his pocket. Rochelle picked up on his disappointment.  
"Trouble, boss?"  
"Maybe. Tonight's plans are cancelled."  
"Oh. Sorry to hear that. The nice man in uniform can't see you tonight?"  
"Something like that. He's gone."  
"Oh! Carlos, I had no idea. You want to come out with me and Dave later?"  
"Thanks but no, I'll work until I want to fall asleep."  
Rochelle gripped his shoulder lightly and put a mug of coffee in front of him. Carlos smiled. “It’s okay, Rochelle, really. I have not been dumped. It’s just—”  
“Complicated?”  
Carlos rolled his eyes. “You have _no_ idea.”

The days of the next week merged for Carlos. He followed a routine: rise, eat, work, eat, listen to the radio, sleep. Earl did not text or call and Carlos lived in a state of vague concern. He wished his current form felt the same confidence his other, so many times he lifted his phone, hovered a thumb over a name in his contacts only to click it off and put it away.

On an afternoon where he felt the familiar fatigue of the new moon, Rochelle took a call and passed details to Carlos.  
“Something interesting for you, Carlos, at the bowling alley. Apparently there’s a colony of something under one of the lanes. They’d like to know what it is and what to do about it. Not my thing and Dave’s out at the house, you know, observing.” Rochelle smiled. “They asked for you. Do you good to get out of here, right?”  
Carlos laughed. “Okay I’ll check it out. Probably mutated termites or something.”  
“Great! You know we’ve been here a whole year? Come out later with Dave and me to celebrate with alcohol and tacos?”  
“Maybe I will. Thanks.” Carlos put on a clean lab-coat, picked up a bag labelled _entomology kit_ and sauntered out.

The bowling alley was busy for the time of day. The afternoon crowd comprised a birthday party, a couple of bored looking teenagers on work experience, and Teddy Williams. Teddy smiled when he saw Carlos.  
“Right up here, lane five.” Teddy walked up the lane. Carlos followed. Near the pin retrieval area, Teddy turned and faced Carlos, looked beyond him and smiled. Carlos turned. The birthday group was gone, the bored teenagers were gone. Instead, Carlos saw three of Teddy’s militia.  
“What the… What are you doing, Teddy?” Carlos kept his eyes on the three scowling men.  
Williams spoke in quiet, even tones behind Carlos. “We know what y’are. We know what yer capable of. We’re here t’make sure yer not a threat any more.”  
Carlos spun round. “Are you DERANGED? I’m no threat!”  
“Y’are, ya don’t belong here. Ya never will. Interlopers are bad enough but YOU? Y'think y’gonna be part a this community? We say no, we can’t have ya loose in our town.”  
Carlos felt fear prickle his neck and contract his world to four people acting in slow motion. 

He didn’t stand a chance.


	11. Transformations

Carlos woke feeling warm and comfortable. There was a voice in his head. Not _the Voice_ , not the one he wanted to hear, but a calm, steady voice telling him he was alive and would recover. 

Carlos woke a second time with the same calm voice telling him not to be afraid. Another voice, rougher, told him to get up if he could. Carlos sat, groaned at the pain in his sides and back, opened his eyes.  
“Josie! What…” Carlos’s head swam and he collapsed back into Erika’s arms. Erika murmured comfort to him until he woke again a minute later.  
“Come on, ya can’t sleep all day. Erika’s dealin’ with Teddy an’ his crew. They won’ come near ya if they gottan ounce a’ sense in their skulls. Get up real slow.”  
Carlos sat up, letting his body adjust as he rose. He pushed himself to his knees and stood, shaking. “What… Josie, what happened? I was here to collect some samples and then… Ugh. Everything hurts.”  
Josie frowned. “Heh. They worked you over. Coupla broken ribs prolly but ya gon’ heal real quick now. Ya did good, y’know,” Josie leaned in close to Carlos’s ear, “not killin’ ‘em.” She laughed. “Ya could bite that Teddy. Turn ‘im. That’d teach ‘im.”  
Carlos staggered toward the exit. “Need out. Need air.” Josie watched over Carlos as he stumbled out of the doorway, stood under the awning until he was confident of his balance and walked slowly to his car. He sat on the back and pulled out his phone.

\-------------------------

_I covered his story best I could. I was not allowed to leave my studio, Erika blocked the doorway and told me I must stay away for my own safety, told me that my life was worth more than Carlos. I did everything I could to slip past but Erika terrified me. All I could do was broadcast my despair and frustration as Erika described, in a calm voice that denied the obvious horror, what was happening in lane five. I begged Erika to intervene._

_I could not hold myself together. I did not even try. I broadcast from the floor of my booth, fighting the urge to abandon my show, change form and sacrifice myself in an attempt to save my Carlos. Josie must have heard and relented. I sat weeping with my head in my hands, relief that Carlos lived mingling with my fear of the extent of his injuries. Erika would not release their hold over me until Josie said the militia was under control._

_My phone vibrated silently in my pocket. I thought of Earl, wondered if he knew and was on his way, but it was Carlos._

_He said he wanted to see me._

\-----------------------------

Cecil yelled at his intern to take over and ran out of his booth. Erika stepped aside before softly popping out of Cecil’s reality. Cecil drove to the bowling alley barely aware of his journey, only his destination. He parked opposite Carlos and leapt out of his car, calming himself that Carlos was not badly hurt. Cecil suppressed the urge to run up and hold Carlos, or to change and go in search of his attackers for painful, bloody revenge.

Cecil stopped a few steps away, frozen by the change in Carlos.  
“What scientific mystery needs to be solved?”  
Carlos was not smiling. Cecil realized how odd that looked.  
“Nothing. Nothing,” Carlos looked away from the horizon to meet Cecil’s concerned gaze then flicked back into the distance. “I just wanted to see you.”  
Cecil’s heart thudded in his ribcage. He opened his mouth but all that came out was, “O-oh?”  
Carlos looked at Cecil again, moved over slowly, sucked in a breath at the stab from his ribs then closed his eyes for a few seconds against the pain of breathing. He patted the space he made and Cecil perched beside him.  
"Sometimes things that seem malevolent turn out to be something else, innocent."

\-----------------

_Carlos tried to smile at me through swollen lips and bruising. I felt his emotion and pain tear at him. I shifted to sit closer to him, sensing the heat from his thigh without touching him in case it caused more hurt. He rested a hand on my knee. I felt a tremble in his hand and covered it with my own. He looked at our hands, entwined on my lap, then back at the horizon. I rested my head on his shoulder. We remained like that until the sun hid from us and the lights came out to dance across the navy sky._

_I said I should return to my booth to finish my show. He nodded. I asked him to come with me, told him he ought not to drive, ought not to be on his own after what happened. He stood and I helped him to my car._

_Carlos waited in my car while I finished work. I slipped into the driver’s seat beside him, started the engine and turned to face him. I asked where he wanted me to take him. He replied, “home.” I drove him to the lab, carefully avoiding sharp turns, bumps and potholes. I pulled up by the pavement._

\------------------------

Carlos frowned at Cecil. “This isn’t where I meant.”  
Cecil smiled. “Oh? Is there somewhere you would prefer that I took you? Just say and we can go.”  
Carlos opened his mouth but closed it when the lab door banged and Dave ran out. He wrenched the car door open and took Carlos’s arm.  
“Carlos? Oh my glowing cloud, your face... Josie called, said you were hurt. Let’s get you inside. Rochelle has the field kit ready in case you need emergency treatment.” Carlos groaned and rolled his half-shut eyes at Cecil. Cecil couldn’t help laughing after closing his eyes and lightly head-butting the steering wheel. Dave helped Carlos out of the car. He leaned down to speak through the window. “Hey, Cecil, thanks for bringing Carlos home.”

\---------------------

_I called Earl. He was furious. With Teddy for being an asshole, with Josie for not intervening sooner, with me for not calling him straight away, with Carlos for having been trusting enough to fall for it, but mostly with himself for not having protected Carlos, not having been there. I reassured him that Carlos would recover. Dave texted from Carlos's phone to say he was shaken, bruised and had two broken ribs but would be fully recovered in a few weeks._

_He was going to tell me. I know it, I was testing him. I should have driven him straight out to the abandoned silo and helped him hobble to our hideout. He might have been too weak to change but we could have rested a while, talked. I said all this to Earl and he called me an idiot. Carlos needs rest and recovery time, he said, until he is strong enough to change and heal by the light of the moon._

\-------------------

Cecil texted Carlos every morning and received replies that began _Hi, this is Dave..._  
On the fourth day, Cecil finished work and drove to the lab. He parked around the back and went up the stairs that clung to the side of the building. There were two apartments. Cecil knocked on both doors and waited.

After a minute, he knocked again. One door offered silence. The other grumbled _ugh hold on._ Cecil stood back as the door opened and Carlos peered out.  
"Cecil! Come in. Sorry, place is a mess, I can't lift or bend properly so I can't clean up. Ugh, sorry. You don't have to, probably smells real bad in here."  
Cecil smiled and held up his hand. "It's fine, Carlos. I'd like to come in. I was worried, I texted a few times but I keep getting replies from Dave."  
Carlos held the door wide for Cecil and shuffled his way to the sofa. "Yeah. Dave overheard me talking to Earl about what happened. I was ranting about revenge apparently so he confiscated my phone until I promise to stop threatening to rip the good citizens' throats out."  
Cecil laughed. "Hmm. I completely understand but I think your Dave is a sensible scientist. Look, I can't stay long. I wanted to ask if you recog--"  
Carlos cut Cecil off with a rapid head shake and a waving hand gesture. "No, not here, not like this, Cecil, not when I am in this mess." Carlos made pleading eye contact and Cecil sighed at the amber flecked brown of his irises. "Be patient with me a little longer."  
Cecil smiled. "There's no hurry. I just came to see that you were recovering."  
"Thank you. It is so good to see you, Cecil. Um, as soon as I can walk more than a few steps, maybe in a week or so, will you have dinner with me? You eat, right?"  
Cecil lowered his voice and raised an eyebrow. "A da-a-ate?"  
Carlos laughed then groaned. "A date. Definitely a da-a-ate."

The week passed slowly for Carlos. Dave eventually returned his phone and Carlos endured questioning from Rochelle about the daily texts and calls from both Cecil and Earl. Carlos shrugged. Rochelle sniggered _complicated?_

Carlos called Earl first.  
"Hey, Earl--"  
_Carlos! Is it really you this time? Oh my glowcloud, are you okay?_  
"I'm fine! Well, I will be soon. I'm sorry I--"  
_No, no, Carlos, I'm sorry. I wasn't there to protect you. I should have--_  
"EARL, no, hey, you could not have stopped it without getting hurt and Cecil needs you more and--"  
_Oh! You said it! You know!_  
"Hah, yeah. I guess I've known for a while but I was afraid of being wrong. I am a scientist, I wanted more and more evidence but the strongest evidence of all was what went through my head as I lost consciousness in the bowling alley. All I saw was you and Cecil, and I was sad that I might die and not have said what I wanted to say to you both."  
_Have you told him? I guess not, he has not been crowing at me yet._  
"No, I am going to tell him. I want to take him out to dinner then, ugh I can't drive yet. Is our new home safe?"  
_Yeah, I been looking after it. I, umm, hope it's not overstepping any boundaries, but it has been a while since you were here so I marked your territory a couple times for you._  
"Hah! That's fine, thank you. Uh, Earl?"  
_Carlos?_  
"Can I see you soon?"  
_I hope so._  
Earl's phone cut out. Carlos stuffed his portable solar battery charger into his bag before making his next call.

"Hi Cee--"  
_Carlos! How are you feeling?_  
"Better! I can move easier now. Cecil will you have dinner with me? Tonight?"  
_I'd love to._  
"Italian?"  
_Anything! I can pick you up._  
"Yeah?"  
_Or we could tell everyone we're going out for dinner and--_  
"And I could meet you at home?"

Carlos chose his clothing carefully. Not his usual date outfit of boots, clean, ironed chinos and a crisp tailored shirt to show off what remained of his figure, but loose jeans and a flannel shirt he did not mind losing. As dusk fell, he texted Dave and Rochelle to say he was going to have an early night and not to call then made his painful way down to the little car lot around the back. He chose the lab truck over his coupe, the high cabin of the truck was easier to get in and out of than the low driver's seat of the car. 

The moon rose from the horizon as Carlos parked far from the road. He felt stronger already. He stripped, breathed deeply and changed. Carlos stretched carefully, wondering at the lack of reminder of injury to his chest. He speculated to himself as he walked then trotted then ran. Bone reformed into a different skeletal system, one without cracks and breaks. He tried a couple of leaps and rolls, yipped in delight at the freedom of being able to breathe and twist without pain. 

Carlos saw the outcropping. He approached slowly, noting Earl's scent, feeling for presence other than his own and the wild creatures foraging nearby.

\------------------

_I hid, watching. Carlos knew I was there, he sensed me as soon as he was close enough. I was high above eye level, in a cool hollow in the sun-baked rock, right at the back where it was dark. I could look out whilst shadows shielded me from sight. I watched Carlos snuffling around our home, felt his pleasure at discovering evidence that Earl had been here today, and I called to him from the mouth of the shallow cave. He yipped back at me, calling me down._

_Carlos greeted me with a long rub against my side, a bounce on his toes and three words. Let's find Earl. We completed one perimeter of our territory, leaving fresh markers against any other creature who might want our home, and found the clear trail Earl left for us. Carlos ran close beside me. We found Earl's camp three miles east, hidden from casual discovery by golden-red rock on one side and creosote bush on the others. Earl was not there._

_Carlos picked up another trail, not Earl. He said he recognised the scent and seemed agitated. We followed it. Earl and the other human either took the same route or walked together. Soon we heard voices drifting out from behind a sandstone slab protruding at an angle from the ground._

\-----------------------

"You can't do this!" Earl's voice called out. "I did what you asked. Shooting me won't bring Frankie back to you."  
The other voice was rougher, thicker. "Shuddup. Ain't here to get my Frankie back. He's gone joined that book club with Bart. Ya poisoned him against us and he ain't welcome home no more."  
"Then what?"  
"Revenge. I get you then wait here for your animals to turn up. Wanna see their faces when they see ya bleed out in the dirt. Teach 'em how it feels to lose somethin' and not be able to do anythin’ about it."  
Carlos and Mercury separated and circled around the rock. Without a warning growl they leapt together and the militiaman felt the weight of Mercury pinning his torso and the points of Carlos's venom fangs digging at his neck. Behind them, Earl breathed deep a few times. 

"Is this what you want, Buddy?"  
On the ground, the man lay still with his eyes closed, no struggle in him.  
"If ya gonna kill me, do it fast. Teddy promised ya would. Tell Frankie... Tell Frankie I messed up. Tell 'im I miss 'im." Buddy began to cry. “Tell ‘im… “  
Earl walked over and stroked Carlos's head. Carlos released his grip.  
"Do you want to kill us?"  
Buddy did not answer. Earl took out his phone and made a short call. Location, urgent, please. After a minute or two Carlos felt rather than heard a soft pop in the air a few feet away. Both Carlos and Mercury yelped and jumped back, dived for cover behind the rock. They crouched together, Carlos sheltered Mercury, curled his body around the other spiderwolf. They heard Earl and a voice that made them want to bolt. Another soft pop removed the terror but they did not move. Earl peered around the rock to see two of the most terrifyingly powerful beings he knew edging backwards away from nothing and trembling. He laughed.  
“Every time. Freaks you out every single time. Buddy Wilson's dealt with and Erika has gone. You can come out.”  
Carlos slid off Mercury and they inched around the rock, making sure, while Earl shook his head at them. 

They walked back to Earl’s camp, Earl in the middle with a hand in each mane.  
“I’m always real happy to see you two but today especially. Thanks.”  
The spiderwolves both moved closer, almost tripping Earl. They waited while Earl packed up his camp and escorted him to the centre of their territory. Earl pitched his tent amongst the rocks.  
“Stay with me tonight? Both of you? After that I kinda want company.”  
Carlos yipped once and leaned against Earl’s thigh. Mercury reached up to nuzzle his ear and make him yell and duck. Earl hugged them both.  
“Go on, you got time for another patrol.”

\---------------------------

_We set off, racing out to the farthest point of our territory. Carlos and I searched for traces of any other human encroaching near our home and pushed our territory out a quarter mile south. It would not be long before we would have to plan our patrols. Once we were satisfied there were no traces of humans other than Earl, we returned to camp._

_Earl had a small campfire, just big enough to boil water from the supply bag I brought in my car and he had made coffee. I almost changed just from the smell of it on the night breeze! Carlos detected it too and we tumbled into camp, making Earl laugh as we pushed and wrestled in our race to be first home._

_I told Carlos I let him win but he knows the truth, he is bigger and more powerful than I am and he has trained to be fast despite his bulk. He is impressive in every way. I admired as Carlos transformed and sat nude by the fire. He looked at me and smiled._

\--------------------------

Carlos accepted a space on Earl’s groundsheet and a plastic mug of coffee. Earl grinned.  
“You not embarrassed this time?”  
Carlos laughed. “Yes, a bit, I can feel my heart rate elevate, my veins have dilated and my neck is getting hot, but I decided I should get used to this if it is going to be part of my life to find myself nude in your company. I don’t mind, exactly, it is just beyond my routine experience.” Carlos accepted a brief hug from Earl, the contact of an arm around his shoulders, and glanced over at Mercury who was lolling by the other side of the fire. “I have not had a lifetime to get used to it like you have, Cecil.”  
Earl gripped Carlos’s hand and pulled him to his feet. Across the fire Carlos watched, trembling slightly, grounded by Earl’s grip, as Mercury stretched and stood, rose up onto hind paws that somehow became bare feet.

\------------------

_Even before he said my name I could feel his fear that, despite everything, he might be wrong. I stood and transformed in front of the flickering firelight. He was beautiful in that light, brown and amber eyes reflecting orange and yellow to me, held back by Earl, mouth slightly open, breathing fast, tense and poised as if unsure in which direction to run._

_I stepped around the fire and we held each other. I lost track of time in his embrace, I wanted to make up for all the times I longed to scream my name at him, beg him to accept me and the life I chose for him, forgive my impulsive nature that could have ruined him. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, pulled back a little and kissed me. Just once, gently. I stood, grinning like a fool, my forehead resting against his, equally embarrassed and excited by the way the reaction of my body mirrored his. I giggled. Before long, all three of us stood with our arms around each other, smiling at everything and nothing._


	12. Bonus - The Set Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rochelle thinks Carlos ought to get out more.  
> Earl thinks Cecil should make a move on Carlos.
> 
> Alternative date chapter.

"You must be kidding. Rochelle, I can't believe you did that. Did Dave put you up to it?"  
Carlos paced the lab floor, legs unable to keep still, hands fiddling with stuff in his pockets that he kept for just this kind of mood. His right hand folded, unfolded and refolded a receipt from his coffee the day before until it disintegrated into fibres. His left fingers pushed into a bag of gravel, feeling the cool texture.  
"Ugh, why would you do that to me? I can't go."  
Rochelle waited for Carlos to settle down. "It was nothing to do with Dave. You should meet more people. Locals. It doesn't have to mean anything, just get yourself a network of people who have actually met you, then when someone asks _Oh, that science feller, what's he like?_ someone else can answer _eh, wasn't my type but we're totally friends now._ "  
Carlos calmed enough to sit, legs bouncing, hands back out of his pockets, sorting the gravel by size on the table in front of him. "I'm not going. Not tonight. I can't. Call them and cancel, postpone until next week."  
Rochelle smiled. "Sure, whatever you say boss, but did you read his bio? There's no photo because it's a blind date site, but I think he's just your type."  
"I do not have a type, Rochelle."

Rochelle read from her screen.  
_Talkative fellow of indeterminate age, told I look about forty but hey, who knows! Interested in science, scientists, radio, radio scientists, old westerns, likes dogs but also a cat person. Hobbies include wood carving, bowling and long walks in the desert. WLTM handsome scientist with perfect and beautiful hair, strong jaw and teeth like a military cemetery. Lab-coat desirable but not essential._

Carlos shook his head. "Liar. It does not say that. Let me see..." Rochelle slammed the laptop shut. "Okay, so what did you say about me?"  
Rochelle opened the device again and logged in. "Let... me... see-ee-ee..." she sang out. “Oh, here it is. _Shy scientist, new in town, interested in science, fiction, science fiction, community radio shows. Lacks sense of personal peril. Going grey although not really old. WLTM honey-voiced blabbermouth with view to fun friendship or maybe something deeper._ "  
Carlos reddened. "You did NOT write that! No, tell me you did not write that."  
Rochelle closed her laptop again. "You will never know unless you go on this date." Carlos scowled and shook his head. "Oh come _on_ Carlos! What've you got to lose?"  
Carlos scowled. “My dignity.”

\--------------------------  
_I could have bitten Earl for what he did. Even in my human form I would have drawn blood! I swore at him and he laughed, said I should meet him, talk, get him to confide in me and perhaps I could confide in him and stop hiding. I knew exactly what he meant. I looked at the profile Earl wrote for me and cringed. I said he will think it is a joke. He will not respond._

_But he did. Between them, Earl and the scientist set up a date. Tonight of all nights! They should both have known better. The scientist has an excuse, maybe he has not yet spotted a pattern in his mood. But Earl? Earl knows me! Earl knows that the scientist will struggle tonight. Earl is sitting on my sofa laughing his head off. His good humour washed away my embarrassment after a while and I laughed too._

_I won't go, I said. I will head out to the sand wastes and run like I always do. That is where I belong and Carlos will find me there. Earl told me not to worry. There would be time for that too._

\--------------------------

Carlos checked his watch. It was early for a date and he was even earlier. He waited at the pre-arranged meeting point, the picnic benches under the trees in Grove Park, with three violets in the buttonhole of his sports-style lab-coat as the agreed identifying mark. He occasionally looked up and scanned the passers-by, looking out for someone wearing furry pants.  
Right on time, nobody arrived. Five minutes later, Carlos thought with relief maybe he had been stood up, the whole idea was stupid anyway. He stood up and turned.  
"Oh! Umm, hello Carlos."  
Carlos blinked at the man before him. He wore furry pants, an intricately patterned tunic and a smile. Carlos could not stop himself from smiling back.  
"Cecil. Um, I deduced from your profile that… Well. Here." Carlos removed the violets from his buttonhole and offered them to his blind date.  
Cecil gushed a little. "Thank you! My favourites. I am sorry I have nothing to offer you in return."  
"It's fine." Carlos watched Cecil's face blush slightly. "What would you like to do?"  
Cecil grinned nervously. "We-e-ell, we co-oo-ould walk through the park, talk, if we like that we could find somewhere to eat and talk while we eat?"  
Carlos smiled with warmth and relief. "I would like that, I think. I was nervous about coming on this... thing. But I enjoy walking, and communicating is something a scientist has to be able to do."  
Cecil held out an arm. Carlos frowned at it for a few seconds before looping his own arm through the gap. Cecil laughed, a short giggle. "Okay! Tell me about your day of important science!"

\-----------------  
_We walked and we talked. Carlos told me he almost didn't show up because his colleagues set up the date for him and only told him at the last minute. I explained that something similar happened to me too and I only came because I didn't want to upset someone by standing them up. We laughed at each other. He told me he was glad we both decided to be in the same place at the same time for the same purpose. I asked what the purpose he had in mind was. He said, to meet someone different._

_I liked the way he said "different" and looked into my eyes until I blinked. I wondered if he knew, on some subconscious level, whose arm he held. We wandered aimlessly around the park, talking and listening. I was aware of his heart rate, how it altered pace if I raised my free hand to touch his arm to emphasise a point, how it raced then settled as someone set to shrieking at the sky behind us, startling him for an instant. I could smell him, intoxicating mix of sweet orange blossom and warm cinnamon when the slight breeze wafted from him to me._

_I checked the time on his watch and suggested early dinner a nice restaurant nearby. Quite fancy enough to impress, but not so expensive that I couldn't afford to eat there on special occasions. He agreed and we went in._

\-----------------------

Carlos studied the menu. Cecil studied Carlos. "Is something wrong?"  
The scientist frowned a little. "I think I can order the mushrooms, I will have to ask about the rest."  
Cecil angled his head slightly to one side, making him look lopsided, then back again to the other, giving Carlos the image of a puppy trying to understand its owner. "What do you mean?"  
Carlos explained. "I'm vegan. I don't eat meat or animal products."  
Cecil's eyebrows shot up and he stifled a giggle before it broke the surface. "Vegan? You're _vegan?"_  
Carlos frowned. "Is that a problem?"  
"No! No of course not. What you choose to put in your mouth is entirely up to you. But... _vegan!"_  
Carlos took a deep breath and puffed it out slowly. "Yes. Vegan."  
Cecil blurted it out before he could swallow the word, "Why?" but managed to tack "not!" onto the end. "Why not!"

Interrupted by the waiter, Carlos established that the mushroom starter was indeed the only vegan dish on the menu. In an effort to make up for being rude, Cecil ordered the same.  
Carlos smiled. "You didn't have to do that. You can also eat whatever you choose."  
Cecil shrugged. "I should be open to new experiences, my friend who set me up tonight says. So far he has been right so I will try being vegan. I can probably manage it for an hour or two."  
Carlos prepared for an argument until he saw Cecil's smile, and laughed. "You almost had me there!"  
After their mushroom and a small glass of wine each, Carlos checked his watch and they settled up. Carlos tapped the table as they waited for the waiter. Cecil stilled Carlos's restless hand with his own.  
"Are you okay, Carlos?"  
"Yes! Yes I am fine. It's just time is happening and I am supposed to be somewhere else and I can't be late and I really want to change—"  
"Another date?" Cecil guessed, voice falling. "You don't need to change, you look lovely. Perfect."  
Carlos shook his head and squeezed Cecil's hand gently. "Thanks. Not a date, although I hope I will meet... It's just a thing I have become accustomed to doing on bright nights."  
"O-oh?" Cecil smiled.

\--------------------  
_It was beneath me, mean, I know, but I so wanted to force hints out of him that he was going to the sand wastes. Of course it didn't happen that way. He clammed up, changed the conversation topic and tried to say goodnight. I felt his fear, his apprehension and thought back over his words, he needed to change. Oh! I felt his battle, the moon reached for him even indoors. He was restless, limbs trembling with the effort of holding his human shape._

_But I wanted to know more. Vegan! A vegan spiderwolf! So many times I had dreamed of teaching him to hunt, watching him develop the agility and speed to catch the mammals that scraped for existence in shallow burrows in the desert. Was I going to have to watch him dig up roots and knock bitter oranges from the low trees down by the creek instead? I bit back my questions: do you miss bacon? how do you survive? if we were not meant to eat animals then why do they taste so good?_

_My belly rumbled as we headed for the door into a night filled with the promise of bright moonlight and I asked if he ever got hungry for something he couldn't have._

\-------------------

Carlos coughed. "Well, yes. But I know I don't need it.”  
Cecil smiled and took Carlos's hand in his for a moment, basking in and emboldened by the sensation of Carlos's elevated pulse and sudden corona of nervous excitement. He murmured, “Are we still talking about food?”  
Carlos continued as if he had not heard. “I was fine until a few months ago, never thought about meat and animal products at all. The last few weeks have been really weird though. I dream about... about... uh, hunting and eating what I catch. It's so scientifically interesting how our wants and needs change! Don't you think? I find myself knowing theoretically that something is not necessary to my existence, yet I crave it. It is probably a trace element or maybe an essential amino acid lacking in my diet since I moved here. I am running blood tests to find out what it is so I can put it right."  
Cecil smiled. "Or you could give in to your instinctive desires just once and see if you feel better."

Carlos pulled away, breaking the contact that fed Cecil’s courage.  
“No! No, I couldn’t do that. Craving something doesn’t make it right for me to do it.”  
Cecil sighed. “Of course not. So, you have somewhere else to be tonight?”  
Carlos smiled again and met Cecil's hand when it reached for his. "Yes! I like to... walk. At night, where there are no people around to bother me."  
"Oh. I see." Cecil frowned. "Do I bother you?"  
"What? uh? No, not exactly. You, umm, no." Carlos turned half away. "You don't bother me at all."

\----------------------

_Carlos was confused, I felt it as a vague mist around him. He was telling the truth and lying all at once. I did not push for elaboration but clasped my fingers in his and we walked to my car, voiceless communication between us telling me he was anxious. A glance at his grimace explained it, his incisors lengthened, a flash of reflected amber behind his eyes when he caught me watching him. I held his hand tighter, feeling the silky hair on the back of his fingers and the soft pad of his palm. I wanted to tell him don't worry, I know you._

_Instead I held my car door open for him and told him to get in. I could not risk having him change in town, being seen, unaccustomed to his form and still uncontrolled. I drove him back to his lab. On the journey he sat with his eyes closed, breathing slowly, concentration beading sweat on his forehead. I should have dropped him off, said goodnight, driven away. But I made him, I am responsible. I sped past his lab, drove out to the sand wastes and off road to Carlos's usual hiding place in the scrub and called Earl._

_Earl already knew. He was there minutes after us with Carlos's car._

\----------------------

Carlos was barely coherent with the effort of suppressing his nature. He allowed himself to be pulled from Cecil's car and undressed. As soon as he felt free enough, he landed on all fours, panting. Earl poured water on his muzzle until Carlos licked and raised his head. The spiderwolf sat by him, radiating concern and, Carlos couldn't quite make it out, was that guilt? remorse? regret? responsibility? Carlos lay on his belly and closed his eyes again. When he opened them, Earl was gone.

The spiderwolf nudged him.  
"Better?"  
"Yes. What happened? I was out in town. I felt strange. I got into a car, and then I was here with the scoutmaster. I don't remember how I got here."  
"Earl helped you. He watches over us both, he saw that you were struggling and brought you here in your car. Look, it is behind you."  
"Oh! Will you thank him for me?"  
The spiderwolf panted, tongue protruding from between his teeth. "You can do that yourself. Later. Want to hunt with me?"  
Carlos shook his pelt and shivered in the chill air. "I'm vegan. I'm a top predator and I'm vegan."  
"Huh." Carlos sensed other spiderwolf's amusement. "I know where we can find some pretty decent mushrooms."


	13. Bonus - If I fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Earl needs help.  
> Carlos has a plan.
> 
> Carlos discovers the effect of being in the company of another human-form spiderwolf at full moon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt from tumblr
> 
> Cosleia said: 500/9 cecearlos, "By the light of the moon"  
> "Will you catch me?"

_Earl laughed at us as we stood panting in the darkness just before the moon hid below the horizon. The sun would appear in less than an hour and Carlos fretted that we would be caught if we waited for dawn, but I wanted to run long and Earl offered to track us, told Carlos that we would be safer together if we planned to stray out of our established territory. Carlos pranced around Earl like an excited puppy. I knew what he felt because I felt it too, a tingling and itching under the fur, a compulsion to stretch out or stand, unnatural on back paws. I shook my head and pounced on Carlos one last time._

_Earl watched us tussle around the cold rocks of the outcropping. I sensed his warmth, his ease, his attachment to us both. We were safe. Carlos yipped, rolled and stood. He trotted over to Earl. I followed, seeing the image in his mind as clearly as if the thought had been my own, we had become so familiar with each other. I reached my front paws onto Earl's shoulders and snuffled his face. Earl scratched my mane. Carlos mirrored my position behind Earl and we changed. Earl giggled as we three stood hugging in grey light._

\----------------

Earl hugged Cecil then turned to hug Carlos too. "The jeep's not far, I brought it up here once I saw where you were headed. Want to wait here or walk with me? I though you would hold out long enough to reach it, but you changed."  
Carlos sighed. "My feet are not tough enough yet, I'll blister if I walk much on this surface."  
Earl nodded and frowned. "We should work on that more during your low periods. It'll take a few more weeks to callus but... haha, have you seen Ceece's feet? They're gross!"  
Cecil slapped Earl's stomach. "They are _practical_ and I make up for it by sporting awesome footwear. I will wait here with Carlos. Will it take long to fetch the jeep?"  
Earl shook his head. "No, it's about a mile away. I should be back here in twenty minutes."

Earl strode off. Once out of earshot, Carlos leaned close to Cecil and asked, "What do you want to do for twenty minutes?" Cecil sniggered.

\----------------

_As the sun rose, we watched. The pale disc pushed up from the East, yellow-white light replaced the greys with ambers and ochres and deep russet of the rocks and sand, deep blue-greens of the tiny leaves on the creosote bush around us. Carlos sat with arms and legs around me, sharing his warmth for the dawn was cold. We kissed and I rested my head on his shoulder. Earl found us in that quiet moment. I sensed his approach, Carlos did too but neither of us felt the need to move. Earl threw a blanket around us, stood and put a hand on each head. He said we could stay out here for a while if we wanted and he would wait in the jeep._

_Carlos smiled and looked up. He said no, we should dress and catch a couple of hours sleep before our work-days started. He felt my disappointment I am sure, I did not shield it well, for he whispered to me: not here, not now._

_Carlos untangled his limbs from mine and we got up, cold and stiff from sitting on the rocks. Later they would scorch, but for now they were greedy for the heat of our bones. We clung together with the blanket around our shoulders and stumbled to Earl's Jeep. My hips and knees were so immobile that I tripped and could not right myself. I tried to relax, not stiffen and cause greater injury, and found myself scooped into Carlos's arms. Earl laughed as Carlos placed me safely in the back seat and clambered in beside me. He turned, twitched his lips and asked, "If I fall, will you catch me too?"_

\-----------------

Carlos grinned and rubbed his arms, "Of course!" Earl started the engine as the men in the back wrestled with yesterday's clothing. Carlos suggested in a grumpy tone that they should wear sweatpants and hoodies next time. Earl sucked in a breath.  
"Sportswear? Carlos? Really?" Cecil rolled his eyes.  
"Yes," Carlos elaborated, "something easier to put on and warmer for cold mornings like this. And," he stroked the sheer fabric of Cecil's tights, "you wouldn't mind too much if boring clothes got ruined."  
Cecil dropped his head onto Carlos's shoulder and closed his eyes. "You do have a point. Still, ugh." 

Earl dropped Cecil off first then drove Carlos to his lab. He pulled up, turned to rouse Carlos who had nodded off, and grinned. "See you both later? Come out to my camp before moonrise if you have time and we can work on your control. Full moon starts at eight, but remember you will feel it all day." Carlos yawned and got out of the rear door on Earl's side. He leaned through the driver's window and kissed Earl on the cheek.  
"Okay. Want to come in for breakfast?"  
Earl flashed a tight little smile. "No, better not. I ought to stay out of town during the day. People still think I lost those boys and they have long memories, sometimes I doubt if I can come home. It's almost six, the good townsfolk will be up and about soon."  
"Yeah. See you later." 

Carlos frowned as Earl drove away. 

\-----------------

_I slept for an hour then made coffee. This time of the month calls for motion. Restless after my rapid recovery from our long trek, feeling the tingle in my joints that I knew would have me up and out of my seat all day, to the annoyance of my intern, I paced my apartment. I wanted to call Carlos, invite him to meet, but I was apprehensive of the effect two moon-maddened spiderwolves, desperately clinging to human form, would exert on each other._

_I did not call Carlos. As I drained my third coffee, he called me._

\-----------------

"Hi Ceece, is it okay that I called so early? Did I wake you?" Carlos sounded so concerned that Cecil laughed.  
"I am up and drinking coffee. It is nice to hear from you. Are you recovering?" Cecil put his mug down and eyed the coffee machine.  
"Yes! It gets easier every time. Hmm." Carlos frowned into space.  
Cecil giggled. "Are you calling for personal reasons?"  
"No, maybe, but I have been thinking." Carlos rubbed his hand through his hair, grimacing at the grainy texture.  
"That is what you do." Cecil grinned, "Go on?"  
"Um, it's about Earl. Can I see you later? I know I will see you later but I mean an earlier later, if we take a temporal reference point of, say--"  
Cecil laughed. "You want to meet me for lunch? I can make hummus. Oh!" Cecil thought about the worst that might happen. "I could come to your lab. So... what do we need to discuss regarding our protector?"  
Cecil detected enthusiasm and excitement embedded in Carlos's thoughtful pause. "He looks after us so well, I think we could do something for him. Earl is falling because of us, we should catch him."

\----------------------

_Carlos greeted me at the door with a grin and a hug. I know he felt the pull when we touched because he sucked in a deep breath and pushed away from me, giggling. The pull is intoxicating up close like that. He beckoned me into the lab, staying a few steps ahead. We talked in hushed voices below the hubbub of the science happening around us, Carlos explaining with his whole body, me listening and fidgeting and questioning._

_I could not make up my mind whether Carlos's plan was pure genius speaking to me or the ramblings of an idiot. It would take a lot of planning, recording of data, observing results, and the agreement of our town's most terrifying resident. Even then, uncertain success would be a distant dream._

_After I ran out of questions and Carlos ran out of answers, we sat back and studied each other. The lab was eerily silent, we heard the hum of the electricals and the swoosh-swoosh of the dishwasher and someone yelling, "I'll be back in an hour, I'm locking you guys in, okay?"_

\--------------------------

Carlos locked eyes with Cecil. They sat frozen until the loud click of the lock snapped them into action. Cecil stood and looked around, Carlos took his hand.  
"This is ridiculous. I should have more self control than this. Do you know what I am talking about?"  
Cecil swallowed and nodded. "I feel it. The urge to change or... something."

Carlos closed his eyes and breathed deep. He opened them to see Cecil do the same, his lips moved to chant in some language Carlos did not recognise. Cecil opened his eyes again and caught his breath at the beautiful intensity of Carlos's stare. He reached out a hand. 

They pulled at each other's clothing. Carlos pushed Cecil's tunic up and held it with one hand, clawing at his tights with the other. Cecil pushed Carlos's jeans and shorts down just far enough and shoved him back onto his chair, stepping on his own tights to pull his feet free. Cecil straddled Carlos on the groaning chair, grinding into him and gasping. 

It was over fast. Carlos held Cecil, stroking his back under his tunic and kissing his neck. Cecil giggled and placed his hands around Carlos's head to make him look up. Cecil kissed Carlos once, softly. "Mmm, sometimes quick relief is what the body craves."  
Carlos giggled, gazing into Cecil's eyes. "That was... um... not a true indication of my abilities. I hope you won't think I am always in such urgent need. A real scientific investigation requires many repetitions to acquire adequate, valid data to form a conclusion consistent with--"  
Cecil laughed and stroked Carlos's frown away. He leaned back and announced to the empty lab, "Carlos, you old romantic, are you suggesting we go up to your apartment and fuck each other slowly? For scientific reasons?"  
Carlos shook his head. He grinned at the disappointment in Cecil's face. "No, I want to take you upstairs to my apartment and fuck you slowly for purely personal reasons."

\-------------------------

_Carlos did not bother leaving a note for his team, he said Rochelle would work it out. I called in sick and we spent a leisurely afternoon in Carlos's bed, pausing to snack or drink water or catnap. By late afternoon, we lay in each other's arms, neither wanting to be the first to move. Carlos pulled me up and led me to the shower. He said we couldn't go see Josie smelling like a pair of spiderwolves who had spent the afternoon revelling in each other's pheromones. He had a point. We washed each other, giggling in the tiny shower, swapping places to rinse off under the aerated trickle from the drought-friendly nozzle. Carlos lent me clothes since my tunic was stained and my tights were ruined. I said I felt like I was wearing a disguise. He laughed and offered me a lab-coat._

_Carlos went in to see Josie. I walked with him as he approached the house, but terror prevented me from setting a foot on the path. Carlos set his face, determined, and strode to Josie's door. She opened it before he knocked and said: felt ya comin'. He went in without any trace of hesitation despite his fear, putting himself in peril to help save a friend, yet he does not believe that he is a hero._

\--------------------------

Earl stared. "You did... what?"  
Carlos explained again. "I asked Josie how Erika made Buddy forget that his son ran away and forget that you were ever involved in that. She said Erika made Buddy forget that you even existed. I asked her if Erika was powerful enough to make everyone forget what we are, what you are to us, why you are hiding. She told me that Erika is very powerful, but it would take time and one day she will call the favour back in from me, big time. I agreed. I hope I have not offended you, I should have talked with you first but..." Carlos shrugged. 

Cecil finished his thought. "It seemed like a real good idea at the time. Carlos will take care of record keeping and observations, liaise with Josie about who has been... um... seen by Erika. They will start with the easy gains, people who barely know us, and leave the big-hitters until last. It might look odd if the members of Teddy's militia lose their memories of us, one by one. If we wait until there is nobody left to remind them, there is a greater chance of success." Cecil watched Earl's face, glanced to Carlos's strained expression.

Earl frowned. "How long did Josie reckon it would take, Carlos?"  
Carlos scratched his head. "A long time, at least ten months, maybe a year or more depending on how busy Erika is. You could move into a different apartment, get a different job, people will think _Oh what happened to the scoutmaster who used to live there?_ and not connect him with you at all, or Erika could give you a cover story, replace memories rather than erase them."  
Earl nodded. "That sounds better. Could I really move back home one day? I can cope out here as long as I know there is an end, even if it is a year away."

Cecil shuffled over to Earl and hugged him while he trembled and wept. Carlos threw his arms around them both. Earl cleared his throat and spoke. "Moon's up soon, you better get ready. Um, would you mind maybe both staying home tonight?"


	14. Bonus - a prequel - Beast

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did Earl come to be Cecil's protector?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cosleia said 503/3 Cecearl
> 
> "Which one of us is the beast?"
> 
> (I set it pre- "by the light of the moon")

_I sat on my bed and cried._

_This was not my home, the voices downstairs were not those of my family, and I missed them. My mother, my brother, we did not always get along. They misunderstood, feared what I might do, hid from me. But I felt their absence like a gaping wound inside. I thought I might die of it but Earl kept me from doing anything I might not live to regret._

_He brought me here to be safe._

\----------

Earl knocked on Cecil's door, waited, pushed it open and went in. It was a moonless night, Cecil sat back in bed, dozing, fully dressed.  
"Hey, Ceece?" Earl spoke in hushed tones and waited for a response. There was none. He sighed and touched his friend's shoulder. Cecil shifted but did not wake. The scout gently pulled Cecil down to lie on his back. A figure behind Earl's shoulder sighed.  
"Mom? I don't want to wake him."  
"That's okay, be gentle. If he wakes, stop until he goes quiet. He must be tired."  
Earl removed Cecil's outer clothing. He left the boy in shorts and tee, swaddled in a blanket, and withdrew.

An hour later, Earl snuck back into his friend's room. Just to check. Cecil snored gently. Earl climbed onto the bed beside him, on top of the blankets. He placed his arm over Cecil's waist and his head rested by Cecil's ear. He murmured, "I'll look after you now." 

\----------

_I woke alone but secure, the pillow beside me had a dent that suggested a head lay there recently. I brought a hand up, it was cool. Earl, I thought. I could smell him and I felt the warmth of his reassurance. I dragged myself back to consciousness and staggered out of bed._

_Earl's mom was packing her bag for work. She smiled at me and said to find my own breakfast and wake Earl for school. I sensed her lack of fear, her confidence. There was no hesitation or wariness in her attitude towards me. I felt affection, something that might be trust. I knew she did not understand me. How could she? I did not understand myself. But she did not hate me because of it._

_Her acceptance was so unexpected after the reactions of my own family that I burst into tears again._

\--------------

"Two weeks," Earl explained. "He managed on his own for two weeks before I found out. I guess he did something that scared his mom and brother and they left. Ceece said they hid from him."  
Earl's mother pulled a face and said, "Hmm. How will you make sure he's safe? I mean safe to be around, and safe in himself."  
Earl smiled. "I thought that all out. We can go camping. It makes sense since I am a scout. When he feels it, we can go out into the sand wastes, camp somewhere nobody ever goes and he can run and hunt and do whatever he does. I'll track him at night and we can sleep in the daytime. We'd need to be away three, maybe four days. That's not a long time. Anyone finds us in the day, we're just a couple of scouts out practising for a badge."  
Earl's mom frowned. "How will you be safe, hun? How do you know he won't turn on you?"  
Earl shrugged. "He says he's pretty sure he won't. He never has so far, he's still the same person all the time, whatever he looks like. He said... he said he's got no reason to hurt me so we're good."

\-------------

_Earl told me his plan to keep me safe and let me be what I am. He waited until a few days before the pull became unbearable. I had been living with Earl's family for a little over a week, learning to fit in, gradually transitioning from guest to occupant. I was unbearably excited at the prospect. No more sneaking around, no more being locked in my room and left to howl and pace and whimper until I could suppress it or break out._

_Earl asked if he would always be safe from my other form. I told him the truth, I never wanted to hurt him in my human form and in my spiderwolf form I experienced the same emotions, thought the same thoughts, had all the same hopes and dreams and desires. I told Earl I would never hurt someone I loved, but he could carry a dart gun if he wanted and I would not resent him for using it if I got a little too exuberant. He stepped back and stood, staring and gaping. He cried out, "Shoot you? No way. If I did that my mom would wonder which one of us is the beast!"_

_I flinched at the word and turned away._

\--------------

They planned by the lunar calendar. Cecil swapped shifts at his intern job. Earl checked with his scoutmaster which areas of the sand wastes and arroyos were most likely to be deserted. Earl's mom provided excuses for school, ready-to-eat packet food and a ride out beyond the edge of town. 

Cecil and Earl slid out of the car, picked up their backpacks, waved and walked. Earl kept to Cecil's pace without Cecil feeling that he slowed Earl down. They dropped their packs by a Joshua tree that stood alone near the edge of a canyon. Earl chose the spot.  
"Here looks good, Ceece, we can stick near the canyon and the tree will make a decent landmark. This can be home for the next few days. There is a creek down there. We should go fill our water bottles then make camp."  
Cecil nodded, watching Earl pull his empty water bottle from its holster. He fetched his own and followed Earl up to the rim of the canyon. Earl looked both ways and down, then pointed. "There, see it?"  
Cecil smiled and nodded. "Yu-huh, there's a way down. It's pretty steep."

Later, Cecil stalked back and forth by a pyramid of twigs and dry bark Earl prepared but did not light for fear of attracting attention. The sun was almost set and the moon was ready to rise. Cecil glanced at Earl.  
He snapped, "I don't want you to watch me change."  
Earl protested. "But I've seen your spiderwolf form lots of times, all those times you escaped and we..."  
"This is different!" Cecil tried not to yell. "Just, turn around or go for a walk or get into the tent or something."  
Earl nodded and got up. "Okay! Okay. I'll be over there." He pointed and walked over to lean against the Joshua tree, facing the sunset. 

After a few minutes, Earl felt a presence behind him. He spoke to the air around him, "Can I look?" In reply he heard a soft _yip._ Earl smiled and turned, watched the silver-maned, black-furred creature with two violet-backed eyes in front and clusters of small, glossy black eyes all around. "Ceece, you are glorious like that. You really are a beautiful beast."

\-------------

_What I did next was immature, but so was I. I walked towards Earl slowly looking this side and that, until at my own body-length away I crouched and sprung. I landed with my front paws on Earl's shoulders, knocking the scout to his back in the dirt, and very gently closed my mouth around his throat. I felt his terror and his submission, I felt his heart pump ever faster and his chest muscles work to suck in air despite my weight on his ribs. He did not fight me. Instead, Earl kept his body still and slowly brought up both hands to my mane. He worked his fingers into my pelt until he found skin and... scratched!_

_I let go in surprise and skipped backwards. Earl rubbed his throat. I knew I had not marked him permanently. He sat up and looked over at me. He said there was no point in him trying to guess what he'd done to piss me off so he'd wait until I told him myself, but meantime the moon was up, I was free and I was wasting my time._

_I tried to communicate with him. I could read his emotions but he could not read mine. He was alarmed, confused and relieved and annoyed all at once and my head reeled from it. I yipped again and bolted away as fast as I could run._

\-------------

Earl sat for a while to let his heart rate recover and his limbs stop trembling from resisting the urge to struggle, to try to pull an almost full-grown spiderwolf off his neck. He thought over what happened as he set off after Cecil, following a trail of paw-marks kicked up in the crusty sand. Moonlight bathed the desert in greys and blacks. Earl walked, keeping his eyes on the trail, stopping when he had to look around and ahead, then resuming his tracking. As he walked, he scuffed and scrubbed spiderwolf prints from the sand. 

Cecil was waiting for him two miles along the canyon rim. Earl stopped ten feet away. Cecil turned to face him, sat then lay down, safe. Earl approached closer, still wary. Voice only as loud as it had to be to cross the air between them, "I am sorry I called you a beast. I thought it was okay because your mom said it, and your brother. It is not okay. Will you forgive me?"

Cecil stood and shook sand from his pelt. He walked over to stand by Earl and leaned slightly against his legs. Earl did not move. Cecil rose up on his hind paws and dropped forepaws onto Earl's shoulders. Earl looked into Cecil's violet glow. "You could have told me the first time I said it and I would have apologised right away and never said it again. You didn't have to scare me like that. For a second I thought... whatever."  
Cecil looked away and dropped back onto all fours. He trotted back to camp, careful to tread over his old trail, churned up already by Earl's boots.

\-------------

_Earl was right and that pissed me off. I ran off my anger at my stupid behaviour, flying up and down the same trail until the ground looked like it had been subjected to a spiderwolf stampede. When I thought I had worked off my anger, I trotted back into camp. Earl sat by the unlit fire. He looked up and smiled and I knew we would be okay. The grey light gradually dimmed as pale yellow replaced it and painted colour back into everything._

_I waited until the moon was gone and the sun struggled clear of the horizon before I stretched out long on the rocky sand. Earl busied himself rearranging the unused campfire, but I knew he was watching. I felt his curiosity. I sniggered and sat up, a giggly teenager sitting naked in the cold dawn, opposite his only friend. Earl offered me food, cold and still in its packet. I didn't care. I ate quickly, tearing open the plastic to lick the inside too._

\-------------

Earl watched. "Eww, gross. You always get this ravenous after?" Cecil nodded and snatched at the second packet Earl offered, dropping the plastic of the first. Earl picked it up and stuffed it in their waste bag. By the end of his second breakfast, Cecil remembered he had a vocabulary Earl would understand.  
"Sorry."  
Earl shrugged. "it's okay. I'm sorry too."  
Cecil looked at the pyramid of sticks. "I did not mean to scare you so much."  
Earl shrugged again. "I know, It's okay."  
"When you scratched my mane, um, that was nice. Like having your back scratched." Cecil glanced at Earl.   
Earl looked up to meet his flicker of eye contact. "Oh?"  
Cecil looked down again. "Yeah."  
"Okay. Um, we should get some sleep and I'll make proper food when we wake up." Earl shrugged out of his clothes and folded them, reached into the tent for his pack and put his shirt and pants inside. He crawled in backwards and looked up. "Coming?"  
After a minute, Cecil followed.


End file.
